its been a long time... update
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| Sat, 01-17-2004 - 3:53am |
I am going to NL in march. OM knows this, and i can get 2 days away from H, and family. OM said to leave it all to him. He has much to make up ( his words ) and that anytime together will be great, even if it was just an afternoon. But its not. Its going to be 1 1/2 days. I told him I was not going to sleep with him. He said, 'well you say that now, but when we're together that will change..'I think in the beginning thats all i wanted, but now there has been so many hurt feelings,and missing him ( apparently him missing me too..) that I just dont want to 'give in' until i know where we stand.
So my dilemma is that I do want to spend the night with him. I do want to have him hold me all night,but I know myself, and maybe I will get carried away.. sounds so stupid writing it, but i want to trust myself. and i want to get to know who he is, and i think sleeping together now, will ruin that.
Any tips??
ALso, who pays. I know lame question, but he said he wants to go and plan everything for our time together.. but when we get to the hotel, do just whip out some cash.. i am okay and used to paying ( at leas when i dated before.. i was married..) but this is so weird, and i don't want him to think he's paid for 'it' or anything. Stupid thoughts, but i am getting nervous.. what to wear to bed. Usually a big t-shirt.. but isn't that a bit wifey... ( his wifey at least.. ) arg... any advice is thanked..

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Wait a minute...you were annoyed with her last post because she didn't know enough of your story...and now you're pissed because she took the time to go back and give you a more advised response?! mikko...it's just advice, and advice is part of support. You can take it or leave it, but please know that ALL the people here are trying to help you in their own way. All advice is given with the best of intentions.
You have to make your own decisions (no one denies this); if it works out, good for you, and if it doesn't, we'll be here to help you through.
Charlotte
so you want to see MM and sleep with him. so do it! just keep the R/A on a light level, none of that "i need to know what happens next" or "where are we going from here"! here are the answers to any of those kinds of questions -- nothing and nowhere. it's an A, you're married, he's married. that's it!
so if you think you can go and enjoy the day and a half you'd have with MM, do it. let him arrange the hotel and you pay for breakfast and lunch. or pay the bar tab. don't insist, just offer on some of the small stuff. let MM wine and dine and woo you. men love doing that!
but, and here's a BIG BUT -- can you just enjoy it for what it is - one and a half days, not a lifetime!! that's the key, honey. think about it!
enjoy,
gurl
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