It's his B-Day !
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It's his B-Day !
| Sun, 04-25-2004 - 6:34am |
I have got to let some of these feelings out. So all alone in my thoughts!
It is my MM's Birthday today. I wish I could be with him and show him how special he really is. I know that he has isolated himself. He has not contacted me since I broke and called him. He said he can't have my number on the phone bill. He told me 2 days ago when I let him have it for the NC thing that it wasn't good-bye! It was just on hold ! I don't know, but his time frames are very strange to me. Time just drifts by for him and he thinks nothing of days lost. I am here counting every minute ! This is getting way to hard to deal with. I want to talk to him face to face. I need to see his facial expressions to things I say. I have never been one to talk much on the phone. It loses too much communication for me. I read alot of body language. People can say one thing and mean completely another. I guess what I am really trying to say is ,I need him to reassure me that there is going to be an us in the future. I need his tender hugs to let me know this. I need reassurance! I don't feel that this is selfish of me. I have been there for him through all his bad times and I feel if he isn't with me through the major big one!, something will be lost between us! Just wanted to vent! thanks!
It is my MM's Birthday today. I wish I could be with him and show him how special he really is. I know that he has isolated himself. He has not contacted me since I broke and called him. He said he can't have my number on the phone bill. He told me 2 days ago when I let him have it for the NC thing that it wasn't good-bye! It was just on hold ! I don't know, but his time frames are very strange to me. Time just drifts by for him and he thinks nothing of days lost. I am here counting every minute ! This is getting way to hard to deal with. I want to talk to him face to face. I need to see his facial expressions to things I say. I have never been one to talk much on the phone. It loses too much communication for me. I read alot of body language. People can say one thing and mean completely another. I guess what I am really trying to say is ,I need him to reassure me that there is going to be an us in the future. I need his tender hugs to let me know this. I need reassurance! I don't feel that this is selfish of me. I have been there for him through all his bad times and I feel if he isn't with me through the major big one!, something will be lost between us! Just wanted to vent! thanks!

I am so glad your still around! I was freaking when I thought you were leaving the board !
I understand your way of thinking and it is nice to know your out there somewhere for me to talk at! I am hanging tight! Trying to give him the time he needs. He told me that as soon as he gets this finacial crap out of the way he will be alright. It is so hard ! I hurt for him and can't do anything to help him. I have no doubt about his feelings for me. That is my comfort right now! Hope your life is running smoothly ! I think your one of the sweetest people in the world !