Its hitting me today...is it over?
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| Sun, 03-01-2009 - 11:07am |
I have posted here a few times after the last couple of weeks. I have been in the A for 5 months after a friend and I rediscovered each other after 15 years. Admittedly, its been a rollercoaster of emotion for me.
He lost his job of 12 years unexpectedly a month ago. We have seen each other once since then and had sporatic contact. He says he now has limited phone access, limited ability to see me but longs for me more and more. Last weekend was the last time I heard from him - wonderful e-mails about how much he wanted to be with me, can't wait to see me again when life is "normal", how he wishes life were different right now. I was so sucked in and felt so good he was still thinking of me - I understand this is a difficult time for him.
So I was on Facebook this morning and saw he logged on (I don't think he gets on the computer these days as the W is home). I was hoping, because he would have seen that I was on too, that I would get a message from him. But no. So its been a week and its got to fizzle since there is such limited contact now and we haven't seen each other. I keep holding out (because he says it too) that we will see each other when his life is sorted out...I am getting doubtful. So badly want to send him an e-mail but don't want to look like a fool. I figured if he really wanted me, he would find a way to stay in touch or see me, even for a coffee.
So its really hitting me today that this may finally be the end. Lots of tears. I don't understand why a week ago..he was wanting me as much as I wanted him and then he's gone. I would rather he would say to me "its over, I don't want you" then just be in limbo.
Sorry for venting...just having a really hard time with the reality today. Miss him and its hard to get around that I may not see him again.

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"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
okay well, he will still find ways to do things to see or communicate with you....
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss
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