Its hitting me today...is it over?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
Its hitting me today...is it over?
16
Sun, 03-01-2009 - 11:07am

I have posted here a few times after the last couple of weeks. I have been in the A for 5 months after a friend and I rediscovered each other after 15 years. Admittedly, its been a rollercoaster of emotion for me.


He lost his job of 12 years unexpectedly a month ago. We have seen each other once since then and had sporatic contact. He says he now has limited phone access, limited ability to see me but longs for me more and more. Last weekend was the last time I heard from him - wonderful e-mails about how much he wanted to be with me, can't wait to see me again when life is "normal", how he wishes life were different right now. I was so sucked in and felt so good he was still thinking of me - I understand this is a difficult time for him.


So I was on Facebook this morning and saw he logged on (I don't think he gets on the computer these days as the W is home). I was hoping, because he would have seen that I was on too, that I would get a message from him. But no. So its been a week and its got to fizzle since there is such limited contact now and we haven't seen each other. I keep holding out (because he says it too) that we will see each other when his life is sorted out...I am getting doubtful. So badly want to send him an e-mail but don't want to look like a fool. I figured if he really wanted me, he would find a way to stay in touch or see me, even for a coffee.


So its really hitting me today that this may finally be the end. Lots of tears. I don't understand why a week ago..he was wanting me as much as I wanted him and then he's gone. I would rather he would say to me "its over, I don't want you" then just be in limbo.


Sorry for venting...just having a really hard time with the reality today. Miss him and its hard to get around that I may not see him again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 1:07pm
OMG..i aint believing ima agree with you on this wholeheartedly but i am...when a man wants to see you or do something for you, come hell or high water they will...DO not i repeat DO NOT keep the affair going singlehandedly......especially with someone who denies family gud lawd....

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 1:30pm
when a man looses a job, his self esteem is shot. keep that in mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 1:36pm

okay well, he will still find ways to do things to see or communicate with you....

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 1:46pm
all i'm saying is, it may take some time while the man tries to deal with such a huge loss. it plays on their minds, and some deal better then others.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Thu, 03-05-2009 - 7:43pm
I'm laughing my butt off here, Tygerzize.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Fri, 03-06-2009 - 9:51am
yeah we did...but because i'm stubborn...i have a good xap..i don't know if anyone but me can see that...and we as women tend to defend those we love or are in love with...lol lol lol...letting go is a long hard process-some of us hard headed ones have to find our own way...i am a firm believer in that people do what they want..and if someone wants you they will find a way...come hell or high water...oh i got ridiculed for a lot..i'm too hard on xap, i want too much, this and that..but, the truth of the matter of it was..if he wanted me then he gotta come get it..i'm not and wasn't paying for a thing, i wasn't and wont break my dang neck, i wasn't and wont put out like that..i am not chasing a married man around at all...that's bogus to me...and yeah i agree with you on a lot..but being in the middle of an affair your brain can be twisted and you can see some things as being harsh..out of the affair partially, i can see exactly what you mean because i'm not blinded anymore...feel me....

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

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