its such a good feeling when

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
its such a good feeling when
18
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 7:55pm
Your ap or xap just really wants to spend time with you. Today he took me out to lunch. We talked and had a really nice time. He also let me drive his car.we enjoyed each others company.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 8:21pm

It's good that you at least recognize that he is really not your "ex" AP. The only way he is truly an ex is if you no longer harbor the thought that you could be with him, that you no longer feel the need to contact him, that you have very clear and distinct boundaries where he is concerned. Obviously you are nowhere near that at this time, and that's ok. Hopefully, you will get there eventually unless there truly is a chance you two will be together down the road. Otherwise, you may just be torturing yourself by continuing this pseudo-friendship, whether you are really conscious of that or not. What feels good right now, hanging out etc., may just come crashing down on you when (if) the day comes when you really, truly realize that it's never going to be a happily-ever-after with him.

On the other hand, if you really, truly can be satisfied with just being his friend...no illusions that it is now or will ever be anything more, than I'm happy for you. Just be careful you're not kidding yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 8:37pm
I feel very happy and comfortable when im with him. Being together when time allows, and good company with good conversation. I already know our affair will never be a for ever after. Im fine with that. I admit i do love him, but can handle being together when we can. Hes a sweet loving person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2006
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 10:30pm
Tori girl, keep doing your thang if it makes you happy. I think it is nice that you two can spend time togther like that, and you aren't hurt or frustrated that "more" isn't happening......You obviously have a connection that is much more than sexual and that is something special......
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 11:45pm
That's good, then. If you know 100% where you stand and are ok with that, then good for you. So many are completely unable to be friends whatsoever with their xAPs. My only point was that sometimes we may say we don't care that it's not going to pan out or that we're just friends without anything else when deep down it's what we really secretly want. And that secret want makes it difficult to truly get to a place of acceptance that it's over, KWIM?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 1:01am
I a very strong physical attraction to him. From the moment i seen him yest, i knew what i felt, him to. A friendship is worth more, not something we want to jepardize for fleeting pleasure. I love it.i love that we can connect on this specail level. Its worth everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2009
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 4:35pm
Oh, please. You're preaching to the choir here. Don't pi$$ on my leg and tell me it's raining. You would jump at the chance to be back in the affair with him. Who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2008
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 5:05pm

As long as it's not hurting you, I see nothing wrong with it.


My AP means enough to me that a few weeks ago when he started questioning this I would have gladly taken it back down to friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 5:15pm
isnt it nice tori?
~k
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2009
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 5:49pm

Tori, I started lurking here just before you and your AP broke up. I want to say that it may be a good thing to be just friends. I started off friends with my AP but I think we jumped to a PA too fast. I ended it for a bit, and we got together as friends for awhile. We really got to know each other without the sex. We spent a lot of time talking and slowly we got back to the PA. I have to say it is so much more worth it. We connect now on all aspects.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Sun, 01-18-2009 - 6:38pm
omg i love the way our friendship is, and i'm telling i'll give up any sex any time in order to keep our friendship. he kn ows me on all levels. he's some one i can trust to go to when something is bothering me. it's very special.

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