I've been gone a while but need advice
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| Fri, 08-29-2003 - 9:46pm |
Life has been a challenge this summer. First of all we found out my dad had kidney cancer and needed his kidney removed. They did that May 20. Well on May 21 MM's wife got a letter at work telling her all about us. Who ever sent it knew details. Major details and sent it w/o signing it. So that put an end to MM and I. It was very hard I was totally in love with him and have to see him almost every day. I was devestated and had a very hard time dealing with the end of the relationship.
Well come June 23 we were told my son has leukemia. He's been pretty much in the hospital since then. I haven't done much other than work part time and go to the hospital. Well I still see MM sometimes when I'm at work and am trying to get over him but am so focused on my son that keeps my thoughts off MM. Although MM says he really wants to talk to me when someday I get time away from the hospital.
Monday I get a few minutes and go talk to MM. He tells me he loves me can't stop thinking about me etc.....Then he says he's thinking of leaving his wife but knows it'll never work with us because he's hurt me to bad. Leaving his wife is something he told me he would never do. These are the words I wanted to hear for 2 years and didn't think I ever would. I wish I had not now. I love him and would love to be with him I just hope that with everything I'm dealing with he would be mean enough to do this to me and not mean it. I just don't know what think!

More importantly, though, you have a sick child and as you know that should be your #1 priority. I hope that he is getting the help he needs, and {{{HUGS}}} to both of you.
As for him leaving his wife, that's a decision he needs to make on his own...and without the idea that you will automatically be there. I think you're very wise to focus on your son and to let the OM reach his own conclusions about his marriage. I'm a big believer in the "actions speak louder than words" motto and if he is serious about you then time will tell by his actions.
I agree w/Blue... your MM has to make this decision on his own and for himself. In a way, it's a little insensitive and thoughtless of him to burden you with this "possibility" right now. You have enough on your mind, and your son is and has to remain your first priority. Take care of him, and be sure you take time out to take care of you, as well.
Out of curiousity... does the W believe you two had the EMA? Or was NC initiated so there would be no reason for additional suspicion? What about you... are you M?
I would tell MM that his thoughts are nice but when he actually makes a move, THEN he should tell you. Because until and unless he does this, and does it for himself, it will make no difference in your R.
In the meantime, DO take care of yourself.
-lily