Jealousy.....How to deal???
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| Sun, 03-28-2004 - 9:25am |
His jealousy...not mine. I am single, involved with MM. It is a new A, we haven't even kissed yet. He has started to question whether I am involved with anyone else right now. I have a lot of male friends that I go out with fairly regularly and he keeps "joking" that I better not get drunk and decide one looks like him one night. There are other little things like this he does. Friday, which is supposed to be NC (all weekends are) he called me twice while I was out with a guy friend. (The first...and second times he has ever called.) Saturday he messaged and called again. On one hand I think it is sweet and it shows that he really does have feelings for me (more than he is willing to admit I think). On the other hand it is frustrating because I want to ask him what makes him think I should be faithful and only be with him when he gets to go home to W on the weekends?
I don't want anyone else right now but him. I know how completely illogical this all is, and I know I have nothing to gain by being faithful to him. My question is, can any of you relate to this? How do you deal with knowing you are involved with someone in an R that has no future, and yet you just don't care? (I am usually so safe in my decisions, nothing that might get me hurt, and here I am like a moth to the flame and I don't have any desire to make it stop.) Finally, how do you fight the urge to point out the irony in MMs jealousy?
Maybe these are stupid questions, and I just need to get out my feelings. Thanks again for listening and input. I think that I would have exploded by now if it were not for this board.

Hi Numbers,
They aren't stupid questions. They make perfect sense.
Frankly, I wouldn't try to reassure him. I let my MM know that I have every intention of going out. (And I do. When I want to. Someday. LOL)
Especially early in an affair, you are establishing your ground rules and boundaries. You have to let him know that you have a life and that you intend to fully live it. He has to deal with his own emotions.
How do _you_ deal with jealousy? Do you have a problem with it?
(hugs)
Cazrida
:)
Circe
Do I have a problem with jealousy? I do get jealous, but in this situation I have walked into it trying to remember that I don't have that right. She was there first. It bothers the heck out of me that she has him in a way I never will, and that she doesn't appreciate what she has. But, that is my own issue to deal with....
Cazrida, I love how you said you will go out when you want to....someday. LMFAO. I can so relate to that. That is what I keep telling myself!!