Jeanie402....I need to talk to you....
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Jeanie402....I need to talk to you....
| Sun, 08-24-2003 - 11:04pm |
Listen, I really feel your pain. Your OM is being really inconsiderate, and it hurts, I know. But listen: you HAVE to realize it is NOT you. If he treats you this way, he treats everyone this way, or will at some point. Guys like that - well, there is just something MISSING from them. You have to believe me. I don't have to know you to know that it is not you or your independence or his "nurturing" desire (puhleeze - how nurturing could someone like that be?).
About you being good at getting guys but not at keeping them: well, that may be true, but its not for the reason you think. See, MOST relationships end quickly. MOST dates don't turn into love and marriage. But I have a feeling that your one flaw is that you hang on for too long even after the guy starts to show that he is really jerky.
I hope you stop seeing this guy. He sounds very unkind.

The strange thing is that H is the sweetest, nicest guy I've ever met and yet I still go looking for a**holes. I've never given much thought to that before but your words really rang true.
Once I figured this out, and once I allowed myself to feel SAD that while he and I seemed to have so much potential the relationship was doomed due to his character, etc., I got over it. I pray that I would never ever ever allow someone to be undependable to me and inconsiderate to me...more than once or twice. After that, it's my OWN fault - my fault for sticking around for more abuse. I have sympathy for myself, but it is up to me to stop the damage.
I think the same thing applies to you. There ARE men who will light your fire AND who are nice to you. You just haven't found one yet. But if you are married, it is HIGHLY unlikely that you are going to find one because MOST decent men will not get involved with a married woman.
It's all in your power, Jeannie. You just didn't know it.