Just a comment on all of this 'crap'
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Just a comment on all of this 'crap'
| Sat, 10-25-2003 - 5:58am |
Hi All, It's been a couple months since I last posted. My A has been underway for five months. I'm M (long time) he's in a relationship w/ kids (both are in our 40's). Have any of you ever wondered why/how we allowed ourselves to allow this much pain into our lives??? Regardless of how miserable I was before A...this has created so much more 'crap' for me to deal with in my head than I EVER imagined!!! Wanting to be with him....can't wait to see him...guilt, guilt, guilt.....having an A's test....weak, weak...trying to let go and go back to previous life, but can't and don't want to.....crying, crying, crying...happy for short periods. How in the world does one find themselves in a situation like this with no end in sight!!!
We humans create more trouble for ourselves!!!! As if life isn't already hard enough!!
Not really looking for replies, just venting and wondering if I'm alone in this mindthought!! Take care.
We humans create more trouble for ourselves!!!! As if life isn't already hard enough!!
Not really looking for replies, just venting and wondering if I'm alone in this mindthought!! Take care.

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I know what you are going through and I am sure you are not alone... if that helps
any... The emotional rollercoaster of all this is insane... why we put up with an
unavailable man putting us last... I will never understand.. just when I think I am
getting it together ( didn't call him for a month to give him space and give my broken
heart a break) he's still inside me with his face branded on my heart.
I don't know what to do... I am dating and hoping someone will help me remember that I deserve to be first. I don't think I can let anyone else ever touch me... I am finally faithful but to a MM..... omigod!!!!!aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Hey do something nice for you, not sure if you are M or S but you deserve to be first
in your man's life, don't give up.
I don't know why or how we do it. We just do.
You're still new in your A. Try to keep up the pace for 3 years, lol.
I just posted on the 'Ending' board. I don't know how much more I can take the ups and downs. I have read about so many of you who have been doing this for YEARS! I don't think I'm cut out for it. We'll see.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
Charlotte
The reason I'm asking is because I've been in a 3 year A. and the plan is to wait till his kids are grown, but I don't know. I love him very much. He makes me happy and he makes me sad. I know it's all a part of the r., but, geezzzzz.
I love him and would do anything for him, but the prospect of another 10 years is hard to imagine. Right now, I'm in this. Right now, I decided to wait, but in the back of my head there is that doubt.
crying, being ok, being sad two hours later etc....just this constant
emotional rollercoaster. So thanks for just simply posting and
to let us all know we are not alone out here simply dealing
with all the "crap" that is unfortunately associated with an Affair.
A friend of mine warned me a long time ago....and I knew it would be
difficult, but never did I imagine the mess I got myself in and I say
this with all my love for my MM.
How it will end is just what really scares me....my biggest fear is
that he (mm, w. pregn. with 2nd child)will one day look back and
regret even having ever spoken to me, been with me. Because W got
very very suspicious...and I don;t want to just be a temptation to him
doing wrong....so I plan on ending it next week...most of all then I am
afraid of loosing my close friend...because with constant contact
andn our chemistry...well it will be hard...so you see again what
a mess...LOL to all .....PS: But do i regret having been with him
No....LOL
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