Just Friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Just Friends?
9
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 12:24pm

Ever since the near miss with a d-day with AP's W last week, I've noticed AP has pulled back a bit.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 12:44pm

Well, I haven't been through it, but I am going through it now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 12:52pm

Yeah, still freaked out about the near miss, but also feeling guilty after talking to H.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 2:07pm

You may try but I doubt you can be friends after an A.Dont compare an A with other relationships where sometimes people break up and do stay friends with an ex bf/gf.If emotions were involved more than the sex,I dont believe you should count on being friends.

OTOH,you may or may not have noticed that your AP doesnt want to risk his M over you,that is,he is not as serious about you as you might have thought.He doesnt seem to be excited about you being kind of S and more available.That should be telling you something.

IMO,get your M sorted out and take care of your child.Your AP doesnt seem interested in keeping the A going any longer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 3:14pm

AE - I disagree with chick, I think your AP has demonstrated many times that he wants you in his life as much as you want him in yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 4:57pm

I'm sorry but I can not tell myself that my AP

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 5:46pm

Once again, I must diagree with your opinion.


AP and I have known each other for over 20 years: we have a history together (something he's fond of telling me).

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 5:51pm

Thanks justlivin :)


Just got a text from him that they had a job to start on right away when he got to work, but he's read my email, and will respond this afternoon.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 9:12pm

Another I think definately yes - friends is possible.


I think if the A ends because the AP was hurtful, or broke trust or was flagrantly disregarding your feelings- I would have a different opinion.


But if you and he both share love, share the desire to be together 'but for' life's immovable presences (ie kids, marriage, major financial issues) then why cant you be friends.


While you would miss the physical and the flirty emotive stuff, I think jane makes a good point in that you wouldnt have that constant analytical stuff going on (what is going on, why havent I heard from him etc).


Personally Id love it if AP ended it again (Id be gutted) but to be friends without any of the crap- would be a huge relief


Iggy xx

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 10:15pm

Well, looks like I won't have to find out just yet.

anotherseyes