JUST AN FYI.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
JUST AN FYI.....
3
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 4:31pm
I was told one time on this board to maybe try the ALL SIDES board. So, I did. Girls, don't go to that board. It's only another version of the BS board. They are warped and twisted. They also refer to this board a lot. One woman even referred to me as a troll. I don't think some of these boards are anything of what they portray themselves to be. A bunch of hypocrites and ex wives who still feel angry over being dumped. I don't want to go on and on because they are probably lurking over here too. Sad , that there isn't any safe place to discuss openingly without your words and feelings being twisted to fit someone elses warped sense of right. If you decide to go over, just agree with everything they say. they know everything and have esp. And if you are by the way lurking. In a year, i will still be with him most likely planning my wedding and if by chance I entertained your thought of coming back to your board and you were there, that in itself would be the saddest thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
In reply to: tnj2728
Sun, 01-25-2004 - 6:28pm
Hi TNJ,

Sorry you felt so insulted at the other board. Now remember, I didn't insult you or anything, and I frankly looked forward with what you had to say. I am sorry that someone told you that you should just come over to this board. I usually invite people to be part of several boards, but the choice is up to you of course.

You definately will find the support you are looking for here. But keep in mind, you have made some pretty harsh generalizations too. Not everyone on that board was mean to you, but you made it sound that way. It was totally wrong for someone to call you a troll though. I think you made some good points and they were thoroughly challenged.

It is funny that the reason why you came back here is the same reason why I discovered the other board. From my prospective of being only someone who "considered an A" and as someone who has not been a BS, many of the things on this board come across as twisted for one's own agenda and as jealousy of MM's W, etc to me. Funny how our individual circumstances influence our interpretations of things, isn't it?

To be honest with you TNJ, you don't sound like a half bad person. I wish you the best and I do believe you and your BF have a chance to make it work. I just think everyone wanted you to realistically acknowledge what could happen, and yes, some people sounded bitter (but some folks sound plenty bitter over here too). And ironically enough, even though you feel more comfortable on this board, and it is your right to be here, keep in mind that the majority of the women here are having A's. You claim that you are not in an A but in a right and honest relationship....unless you are planning to cheat on your BF/fiance. Think about it.

Pen

P.S. You have every right to go to the other board too, and it is your perogative not to, but it is too bad you were chased away. I for one, like having the "diversity" there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
In reply to: tnj2728
Mon, 01-26-2004 - 6:49pm
Hello, and I appreciate your response. I just decided to stay away from the boards for awhile because it seems very hypocritical, that what you tell someone is taken as not being realistic. If this is my life, then it is by all means REAL. I am not some 16 year old high school student with a crush. I am in an adult relationship. Yes, it may not have started out the most natural way that people think they should start, but there was some obstacles and we both overcame them. I am not bitter, nor do I act as if nothing negative can come out of this relationship. But, we both want forever and that is what we are together now for. If by chance one of us one day wakes up and decides that we are unhappy and don't like where we are, then we have had that discussion and respect each other enough to say so. But, for now and many years to come (hopefully) we have plans to have our family and finally be happy. Without feeling guilty. I enjoy challenging topics but the situation on that board just became very one sided. I don't live in a fantasy world, i am just truly happy to be inlove with the only man I have ever loved. And it reall does feel great when you know that person is in love just as much as you are. I don't have any doubts but I also keep my mind open. Thank you for your voice. maybe one day I will feel it's safe enough to continue to post, without immature bitter people bugging out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
In reply to: tnj2728
Mon, 01-26-2004 - 7:17pm
Thank you for sharing TNJ. All these boards are good, but as you noticed, they can also create negativity and cynicism if certain things strike a nerve. It all depends on so many factors.

Good luck to you.

Pen