Just had a "fight" .....
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Just had a "fight" .....
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:41pm |
with H! This is what drives me towards MM! He comes home looking like he is mad at the world. We have been talking about buying a new bigger home, and I wanted to invest some money in a short term investment that will bring us a 15% on our money in less then a year. And also I want a boob job. Now I didn't bring up the moving to a bigger home, he did. SO he doens't REALLY have aproblem with that expenditure. But he tells me tonight that he is "threatened" by me and I am moving with all these people who have aton of money to spend and the boob job makes him insecure! I told him i want to make six figures a year and he says "why not just 50 or 60k"?? HUH?? I'm so tired of him trying to keep me back. He never listens to me when I talk! I feel like i am damned if I do and damned if i don't. This is what I have had to deal with my entire 20 year marriage! He would argue and argue with me when I wanted to go back to college. Finally he confessed this year he didnt' want me to be able to live on my own so I could leave him if I wanted and he could treat me anyway he wanted. He knew i wouldn't leave.
MM is so opposite it just makes me so sad that this is my bed that i made....
gonna cry myself to sleep tonight
dd

I am sorry you are sad tonite. When I told my ExH I wanted a D because he treated me so bad, he admitted he only treated me bad because he thought I could never leave him. Well I suppose I had the last laugh because I did leave him and when he said he would change I told him it was too late because I had fallen out of love with him BECAUSE he treated me bad all those years. Some days I actually look back on it and think maybe I should have given him the chance, my faith has become extremely important to me over the last couple of years and it is the biblical thing to do in your M, forgive and have faith your spouse can and will have a change in heart. Not that I ever find myself doing the right biblical thing to do, but then again who does right? Alas, most days I'm just relieved I finally was strong enough to get out of that horrible situation.
I guess that's the longwinded way of saying, maybe you should let him know that if he DOES treat you as if you will never leave perhaps it will be the one thing that eventually drives you to do it. Oh, and if he doesn't realize this...a woman does NOT have to be making six figures to live on their own, I'm making it just fine at under half that. :)
Hang in there tonite,
Brin
I know I could live just fine with under half that income. But if the potential is there I want to be able to do it without him feeling "threatened". When earlier this week I had sold some property that in itself would have put me up there commission wise he was all smiles but I could tell they were forced. This morning when he left he didn't kiss me goodbye which is what he does when he is fed up. This is behaviour he would exibit just before he would tell me he wants to leave. My A is not the rollercoaster my M is! He said last night he feels like we are losing communication again.. I don't get that at all, I have done nothing different. It is all in his head. Tonight we have my neices hs graduation, not looking forward to it at all. The deal on the property fell through anyway so I have that to bring me down as well.
I'm so depressed over this crap I deal with with him
dd