just a jealous rant
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just a jealous rant
| Fri, 03-12-2010 - 7:17am |
I should not be jealous at all, but I am. AP and his W are out of town for the the better part of the weekend and I hate it. Ok, I don't "hate" it but it sure makes me jealous. We have had 2.5 DDays (on his side, none on mine)...so doing anything "together" as far as going out in the evenings (he has a very hard time getting away from home now) is nonexistant. I do get him as much as I want during the week, long lunches, afternoons in a hotel a couple times a month...that kind of stuff (but no dinner/drinks/dancing) but we still have to be careful as we are both M and live and work in the same town as do our spouses.
We are rapidly approaching the 2 yr mark

gal,
It's hard and it makes sense that it sparks some jealous feelings in you. Affairs do feel like real relationships, but then real relationships consist of things like dinner, drinks and dancing; oh and not hiding out and sneaking around. I make myself busy on the weekends, but I hate them too.
I know this feeling well at the moment. My AP (MW) is away for a long weekend with her H and son. Now, she is technically at a business conference, which means she won't be spending all of her time with her H, but...well, you know. She did send me a lovely "good night" email last evening, which touched me, but then I realized that she likely typed that out while she was in her hotel room with her H.
What kind of craziness allow us to sit near our spouses, while telling someone else "I love you"?
mpv
I don't want to say that, with time, you get used to it, because you don't.
male,
I don't know what kind of craziness allows us to do that, I really don't. Just for clarification, I am also M,
Another,
Your post made me stop and think about being lucky enough (if you can call yourself lucky in an A) that he can and does share with me the deeper side that he can't or won't share with his W.
As far as time, this is no new A. We have been friends for about 6 yrs, EA probably for 2 yrs before it became PA--and we are moving into the 2nd year of the PA side of our "relationship".
Thanks for your post :)
I very much understand how you feel and experience many of the same emotions, but like others have said, with time I have learned to manage my emotions( most of the time).
My AP is currently out of town with his family and in-laws, he didn't want to go and I could feel it in his communication with me lately, I encouraged him to go, as he needs the break from his stressful job. and the time with his kids will be good for him. I know he will be thinking about me, but still have that nagging little fear that he will re-ignite something with his W, or just decide I am not worth the risk. etc. but, at the same time I have come to realize that if that is the case, well, it may as well end now. ( even though I would be totally heartbroken)
I am single and the weekends can be very long, but I try to embrace the single life, enjoy it and treasure the small things, the ones that have to do with AP as well as my very own times.
Chin Up!!
I relate to what you all are saying.
Sixteen months into my affair and soon to be single after a long term marriage, I find the weekends are harder for him then for me....we talk a bit on the weekend, and for me somehow the roles seem reversed on the weekend--during the week we are in constant contact, we see one another once a week at the least even tho we live a state away, we are very close and talk through everything.
For him its hard on the weekends because I am out and about and he is dealing with all the fun stuff that comes with having small kids and an uptight W. For me it is hard when they go away. And they do so often. I just resent her. I never think something will be reignited with them no, never. She is far too frigid selfish and demanding for that to happen. Of course that would most likely change if he was caught, then she would fight for him i am sure. Things must look good to others, kwim? I don't want the daily grind with him, I like our special moments.
We were together this weekend and it was perfect. We soaked up every moment together. I like that part of our R--we never take one another for granted...jealousy etc comes with the territory and it stinks...but remembering why you are together and cherishing that helps so much.