Just need a little support...
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Just need a little support...
| Mon, 03-15-2004 - 9:35pm |
Hi all. I've been a little scarce lately because I've been going through a lot here at home. My W and I have been discussing the breakdown of our marriage and once in awhile I see that she understands my perspective. That we never really had deep connection and were just clinging to each other out of fear of being alone. That our communication needs and values are very different. But then she'll start sobbing and ask me why she isn't good enough. I tell her that I would never say she isn't good enough. That it isn't about that. But when she gets upset she begins blaming me for everything and I start to feel as if she is right. That I'm being selfish. But damn it, I think I have to be. I don't want to be sitting here 5 or 10 years from now ten times as miserable and wondering why I stayed when I knew leaving was the right thing. And of course when she gets upset, she tends to threaten using the children to punish me too. She quickly takes that back but it still frightens me. And angers me. I've told her I won't fight her on much, but when it comes to my kids, I will fight her tooth and nail if need be.
I guess I don't really have a question I need answered or anything along those lines. I'm just feeling alternately angry, sad, guilty and relieved and I don't know what to do with all this emotion. Thanks for listening and feel free to comment.

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I am sorry for the way you are feeling but I can also understand what you are going through.I myself went through all the guilt,anger the whole bit and the best advice I can give you is go to GOD for your answers he WILL HELP get you through it.
read my post at (ATTENTION)GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS HE UNDERSTAND!!
I will pray about your situation!
Dimples
Please dont burst into any furor over this but you seriously need to think of your OW's age (you said you were 30 and she 12 years younger) if you are planning to start a life with her. 18 or 19 or the time when one starts college is a very young age to start a long lasting relationship and chances are that she is going to go through her maturity cycle and she may not have the same feelings towards you later down the road. Thats whats happened to most of us who got engaged or married young. Its not the age difference (it would be a different situation if you were 42 and she 30) but the actual age that can have important consequences.
Just a thought
PG
Anyway, beware omaha, woman change - especially after hitting that 30 mark.
My thoughts are with you.
Also, if she were to walk away from me today, I would still be leaving my M. If nothing else, the OW has shown me the light. If I hadn't met her, I may have languished in this situation for years. I had convinced myself that I didn't need to be content. That I could live without all the things I knew I wanted and deserved out of life. But as most of the people on here have said, it is far better to realize now that we don't have the connection we should. My W and I will both be able to move on and I know that ultimately we'll both provide our children loving homes. I hope that someday down the road I'll be able to come back here and tell you I'm planning to marry my once OW. But if not, I know that I will find someone who I connect with and who I can truly love for the rest of my days. And I want that for my W too.
I do appreciate what you guys are saying though. I may be in love, but I'm not delusional.
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