Just one more kiss...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
Just one more kiss...
8
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 10:19am
Ok I was out...ended it...NC for 3 months, then I called him. Why?!? I don't know. But now he is coming over on Tues for "coffee" and it is back right where we started. I am a MW with two children and very happily married. I have a H that loves me and I love him totally and I don't think that this has anything to do with him directly...I just want that one more kiss.

Long story short..we were coworkers who flirted. Then it got a bit more serious. We've done the phone sex thing, kissed once, and IM all the time. We've planned to meet but circumstances prevented us from that. I don't want to have real sex with him, he is so much a fantasy that I want to keep it that way, but I love the emotional part of our relationship. He wants me to leave my H and marry him, but I would never ever do that. SO here we are today, me awaiting his call that he is coming over. Deep down inside I know I should have nothing more to do with him cause I do value my M, but I just want that last kiss. The kissing the first and last time was soooo good!

I really do want my cake and eat it too. But I just don't want to get caught with icing on my face.

You know by actually writing out this out I realize how demented this all is. I just wish I knew that I could do what I wanted and get away with it!

H

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 10:37am
You never mentioned, is co-worker a SG? Because you are M, should be careful. SG has nothing to lose. I personally would be a little worried about that. And if your M is happy I think you should RUN not walk from this guy. So many of us started A's because of unhappy marriages, if you are happy you should try to preserve that. If I was happily married I would have never gotten into this. Sure, everyone has co-workers who flirt with them. And if things are okay at home, you should be able to just go along with it but don't take it any farther. JMO, but I wouldn't start something you're not 100% sure that's what you really want to do.

xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 10:53am
If he is a MM, then it would be better for you, since you are married. I understand that you are happily married. I am happily married, too. The OM in my life just enhances my life. You may not be happy until you've had him and tried it. Have fun and don't get caught.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 11:16am
Have to agree with Dusty here. I've heard that one basic rule of EMAs is to make sure the playing field is even. If your coworker is single and falls in love w/ you he could just boil your rabbit. I'm a MW w/ a MM which acts as a type of insurance and keeps us from letting our feelings get too carried away (at least it's supposed to but sometimes mine just run rampant!). Neither of us are going anywhere and if MM found himself single I don't know how I'd handle that. I would never leave H for MM, not bc I don't want to, but I don't believe in that. Does that make sense? If I leave H it would have to stand on its own merits, which, believe me, were there long before I met MM.

If you have a happy M, a loving and caring H that you love and who loves you, and kids, you could lose it all ... for what ... a kiss??? Which could lead to sex??? Which almost always leads to emotional attachments that are hard to break (boarding the roller coaster). I don't think so. Not worth it if you ask me.

Luvin

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 12:31pm
I must admit that I agree with you guys 100%, I should turn and run away from this guy but I just can't. You know that song by Uncle Kraker, "Follow Me".? There is a line in that song that says, "You don't know how you met me, you don't know why, but you can't turn around and say goodbye". The song is about a married women having an affair with a SG, which by the way my is...single. There is another line that says "I don't care about the ring on your finger cause as long as nobody knows than nobody can care."

I do have one trump card though, he is kinda my boss, and if word ever got out about our relationship his boss wouldn't be too happy with him, wouldn't care about me though. So I could always use that if I had to.

Well ladies I am really trying hard to turn and run away...I promise I will try...but he is just so darn cute!

H

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 11-14-2003 - 1:05pm
I know what you are going through kind of. I say kind of because we, no he is in denial. He flirts like crazy and says suggestive things to me and yesterday I said a few suggestive things to him in a note but he is running scared now. I think he'll turn around though.

I know what you mean about not wanting to run away from this person. There is just some kind of underlying attraction you can't ignore.

Hope all goes well !

Blue

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Sat, 11-15-2003 - 10:05am




I think having an A with a SG when you are still M, like

dusty said, IS an uneven playing field and also unfair...maybe you

want your cake and eat it too, just for kicks... but this get complicated

in the realtime world and it hurts, what happens when the SG falls

in love with you, if he hasn't all ready........ breaking someone's

heart is not a game and if you are"very happily married", I'd cherish

that and keep what you have. Don't play with fire, you WILL get burned.

I am the OW in love with my MM and I am now separated 2 yrs, it's a lot

harder knowing I can't have him now that I actually could.

Think about this.... please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 5:29pm
I've been having an A with a SG and you are right, HIS heart is the one that will get broken. I've been trying to end it for a while, but he is so darn sweet, sympathetic, patient and understanding. And he's a darn good kisser, too... sigh... It's been too hard for me to walk away.

It's true, he has nothing to lose, except me. And he is doing all he can to keep me. And if/when we part ways, he doesn't want to do anything to hurt me (like confront H), because he truly loves me. It's so hard to end it! Maybe I should be posting on the ending board, eh?

Good luck balancing your conscience with your urge to have fun. Many of us have been in the same boat.

Pug

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 7:33pm
pug... i am confused, did you mean your post for happydz who

initiated the discussion???

If not I haven't had too much fun of late, this is pretty serious to me

I guess that's my problem!!!!!

Happy.... DID he come over or what????