just a question... sexual tension?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
just a question... sexual tension?
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Tue, 02-24-2004 - 12:12pm
Do you think sexual tension is something that can be all in someone's head, or do you think if you are in a situtation where there's a man and woman, and you are feeling it, he must be feeling it too?

Does that make sense?

i am not asking this in regards to a guy i like or my A or anything, i was just in a room alone with a guy, and there seemed to be some sexual tenstion, and i was wondering, coud i be making it up LOL!!!!

Just something to think about!

jen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 9:40pm
Jenn,

I believe that when one feels sexual tension it isn't something that they imagine. However, I don't believe that just because you feel it that the other person has to feel the same thing. It is like anger. If you are angry, you know it, but that doesn't mean that the other person shares your anger.

Also, I don't believe that it has to be linked to attraction or lack of satisfaction in your relationship. Sometimes, at unexpected moments or because of innocent actions, you can find yourself more aware of someone of the opposite sex than you would normally be.

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 11:21pm
Opal

For men the top 5 needs are 1) sex (and a super enthusiastic partner), 2) appreciation 3) good looking spouse 4) domesticity (a woman who takes care of his home and kids and doesn't bother him with mopping the floor when he comes home at 7) and 5) woman's interest in his recreational activities.

For women the top 5 needs are 1) affection, 2) conversation 3) excellent financial support 4) the man being a good father playing an active role in the offspring's upbringing and 5)total trust in her partner.

If you want the name of the book, I will give it to you. I read it recently which validated what I believed all along the way. We think the needs are unisex in this day and age but they are not.

Men's and women's top needs are different. When they are met, all the other qualities that you referred to fall beautifully in place.

PG

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 12:04am
Of course sexual tension can happen ......that is how I met my MM ....damm that day LOL LOL

Now emotions are getting involved ( more on his side so he says ) and things are getting complicated .


Edited 2/25/2004 12:07:48 AM ET by viperdiva

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 12:12am

Hell yes!


I was heading off to class one evening... as I got out of my car there was this nice looking guy getting out too.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 5:33pm
Hi - Can I get the name of this book? I loved the top 5 for men. Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 6:10pm
vles,

It is:

His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

by Willard F. Harley Jr.

I had my husband read it too. Its funny after reading that he regularly exchanges comments about some of the TV programs (Bachelorette, Average Joe) that I watch and always makes a point to ask me about my day.

PG

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 6:27pm
PG ,

This so so true !!

Now I can see why my MM is getting more emotional then I am ......... I can fulfill all the top 5 things a man needs ;-)

My MM can only fulfill 3 things a women needs .

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Wed, 02-25-2004 - 8:16pm
Philly you can quote from whichever book that is the fave right now, but I didn't get the same impression from your first post. I don't think I fit the category of women who want all that is in the book, for I have all that and I still need more. What I have with the OM is far more than that - intangible feeling - where we can read each others thoughts and wants without having to say it out loud. Even as I am writing this post I can hear his thoughts. This kind of connection is hard to come by and have never had it with H.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 02-26-2004 - 10:23am
I agree Opal. My H is affectionate, he can be trusted with somethings(LOL), he is not a great conversationalist but when he does talk he is interesting to listen and he is good provider. I really don't need him just because he provides, I can provide for myself, thank you.

I somehow think you missed the emotional support part, its not trust we are talking about here. Its the passion for life and emotional insight that I miss the most in my marriage. Its like that feeling that you get listening to the Michelle Branch's song from before, a breath of life and fire that is missing. Don't tell me we need to be romantic or something - because H is not capable of being romantic, he is not wired that way. I guess I can do without the romance but what about emotional intimacy??? Its one of the to things in my list.


Edited 2/26/2004 10:24:24 AM ET by julietsfate

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