Just something I found!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Just something I found!
4
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 1:05pm
I know we are all caught up in our As and I am NOT trying to distract from that I promise! I honestly can now say I do NOT judge when it comes to infidelity! But with my changing situation I came across this and MAN it hit home...

In Love With a Married Man?

Are you the "other woman"? If you're involved with a married man, and you're waiting for your turn, it's time to re-evaluate your situation. Dr. Phil McGraw checks in:

If you're putting your life on hold for a married man, he's stolen not only your heart — he's stolen your brain, too! The majority of married men are not planning to leave their established lives to begin one with you.

THIS ONE REALLY HIT ME!!!!!!

You may feel that he's your soulmate, but think again. A real soulmate would not set you on the sidelines. He wouldn't allow it, let alone entice it.



Even if your married man decided to leave his wife and family for you, that doesn't guarantee success. Relationships born out of affairs survive less than 5% of the time.



The bottom line? Break off this relationship today. You'll be hurt, you'll feel brokenhearted, but you'll be better off in the long run. Eventually, you'll fall in love again... with someone who's willing to make you first in his life.

I got that from here... lots of other interesting things here too - if you are interested! ;)

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/subsection_landing.jhtml?section=Couplehood&subsection=Infidelity

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 1:20pm
Well, I am on the other side of the equation and I think a lot of it made sense to me as well. If he is a soulmate shouldn't he be willing to let you be in the sidelines part hit me on the head right away. What is point of trying to be "moral" or whatever when you are in a EMA? I think to be moral is subjective if you are already waaay to deep in it. As long you don't hurt others in your actions directly and don't let you loved one down all the time, its more of a "right" way to live. JMHO
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 1:28pm
that whole site is hitting home. i'm married..in ema. i have really been struggling with my emotions.

the hardest part for me though is letting go of om. i say now..sure i can do it. but we aren't able to talk now. i know once we start talking again, i will have a completely different view.

but you know what..my dh is wonderful to me. i think deep down i may never be able to leave him. he is a good provider. and honestly i do compare dh and om...and om is not nearly as accomplished and successful as dh..even though dh is almost 2 years younger than om. and i really look at that and think what a difference that will make in my own future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 1:41pm
well, I don't compare my OM and H, because they are two different people and each one of them has their own fault and issues. What is more important to me is not whether h is a "good provider" or younger or accomplished than om but whom I am compatible with. In fact I don't care if H is "good provider" or not because I am independent enough to be a good provider myself. LOL This is not a personality contest for me atleast, it about my future and destiny. That's why I feel let down when OM doesn't understand that I don't have major issues like other women that may have been in his life and all I want is some respect for my feelings and some candidness on his part. I don't like his blow hot/blow cold and I can trounce-you-whenever-we-don't agree-attitude. hrummph.


Edited 10/21/2003 1:42:46 PM ET by charmed1007
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 1:54pm
i feel like in a way i am compatible with both dh and om. dh and i have the same goals in life and for our future and what we want for our family. but i definitely feel a more physical and emotional connection with om..but i'm not sure that it's worth breaking my family apart. dh and i once had an emotional connection. i was reading over some of our love letters from 6 years ago..and i was so in love with him. i find myself saying the same things to om that i once wrote to dh and that scares me.

dh is very open with his feelings. and with om it's harder for him to express himself. but it's like when he does watch out because they are amazing. but i just wish he could tell me more often how he cares about me. i have ended it several times with him because he couldn't open up to me.