Just a update for everyone
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Just a update for everyone
| Mon, 04-19-2004 - 1:25am |
Hey guys and dolls, well i am not doing so good with the breakup of MM and I. I stay really sad and depressed just wishing there was something i could do to turn back the hands of time when everything was great between MM and I, but i know there's nothing i can do to change what has happened with us the damage is done and i am left with a broken heart while he probably goes day by day not thinking about me or even caring for that matter. I am hurting sooo much but this isnt the first time my heart has been broken and i am sure it wont be the last. I just gave and gave while he just took, i mean yes in the beginning he would always send the sweet IM's and we would chat until early the next morning but as the relationship moved forward he started changing and moved backward. I have always been truthful with MM about what i wanted out of the A and i thought he wanted the same thing but his actions speak louder than his words. I know that i have to move on even though i have not gotten a proper goodbye from MM, everybody keeps saying that i shouldnt let him have that hold on me knowing that if he doesnt say goodbye, then maybe he could just pop back up in my life. I know i have to move on with my life but that is so much easier said than done. I think the one thing about emotional affairs is if the A falls about then you stand the chance on losing the MM and the friendship as for my case i have lost all of it. I keep telling myself that maybe one day he will wake up and realize that we built not just a relationship but also a friendship. I just dont wont to have to lose both b/c it isnt fair. I know i am the one to blame for losing MM, everything was going good and we exchanged i love you's, we talked about making plans to get together and then i had to go and blabber my mouth off to a few people. I do feel if MM is p..... off at me than i do deserve it for telling others, i dont know what i was thinking even though the few people i told already knew b/c they were ex-coworkers of mine but still i messed this up and i keep saying how he put me thru hurt but i honestly i feel i did the damage to myself. Maybe he did love me, maybe he didnt.those are the answers i will never know b/c he wont even talk to me right now. I have not immed him nor emailed him and i am going to be strong and not do it b/c then he will see it's killing me inside, maybe as time passes, his anger will go away and we can at least be friends if nothing more. I never thought i would have to see me moving on with my life without MM but it has now came to that day and i have to do what's best for me. Guys i want to thank yall for being there and listening to me vent about my crazy situation, i will be coming back and looking at other posts, thanks for welcoming me and treating me with kindnest, respect and understanding.
Signatures On
| Mon, 04-19-2004 - 7:19am |
I really feel for you peach...I can't imagine what it will be like when it is offically over between my MM and myself.
