Just wanted to say Hi

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Just wanted to say Hi
7
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 7:44pm
Hi everyone, I haven't been here for a while and I thought I would just pop in and say Hi and give a quick update. I have only seen mm for a few minutes twice in the last few weeks and I miss him. Yesterday I saw him and he told me he was going to Baltimore with his W for the weekend so I guess they are working things out. Didn't have much chance to talk to him. I have realized that he and I are probably never going to hook up, he is never going to get his D no matter how many times he leaves he goes back, and I am the same way. I don't understand the hold our respective spouses have over us. I know that mm and I would be great together, but it just isn't meant to be, and sometimes I am really sorry that I didn't sleep with him because at least I would have that memory and other times I am truly glad I didn't because I can just imagine how much more this would hurt if I had. Right now I miss my best friend and that does hurt ALOT! Alot more than I thought it would.

Well not much news here, I'll stop back now and then to see how you all are doing.

hugs,

itty

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 08-22-2003 - 8:21pm
hi ittybrat sound like doing alright which is good .you not alone l haven't slept with mm yet but would love to if we can bve together really need my mm rigth now.been so stress out with my bussiness and my bills have be paid. l think you read last month when posted l had cancer scare so happy l don't have cancer again.l saw my sg friend they other day been month since last saw him but remember he just kid at 26 lm 40 year lady .l had left couple message but he hasn't gotten around call me back.we did talk on wed which is great but seem all he wnat to do is be with his bimbo trash g/f,l know do whole alot better then him but don't men don't call you back he know l call him hugs kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 8:50am
Hey Itty! I had wondered about you.

I'm sorry you are missing your

bestfriend. I question why I stay

with my H too... OM and I haven't

seen each other in 3 weeks because

of what had happened, but I think

we're working things out slowly.

Not too sure where I'm headed...

Hope your good overall and not

thinking to much of your MM! ~passion
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 12:47pm
Hello Itty,

It's good to read an update from you, as always. Though, I'm sorry you are missing your good friend.

Itty, you wrote, "I don't understand the hold our respective spouses have over us." - our spouses or signifigant others or even our affair partners do NOT have a hold over us! You are where you are, and he is where he is, because of choices YOU each made. Remember that if you feel you didn't make a good decision, you can always make another decision. Be sure to make that decision based on YOU, not someone else's actions. It's your life, Itty, and you have the control to make decisions based on your happiness.

Instead of picturing certain circumstances in your mind that would bring you happiness (like how it would have been with you and your friend, or like how happy you would be if things work out with you and H), simply picture yourself happy. Maybe you've said it yourself before, Itty - it's all a mindset - believe yourself to be happy, and you are.

I'm sorry you are hurting, Itty. Of course I understand, because I feel hurt in my relationship with MM sometimes - it's just easier to make suggestions to someone else than to put it into practice myself.

Please don't allow yourself to be hurt for too long - you deserve happiness.

Hugs,

Meow

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 8:51pm
Nice to see you, Itty!

While it looks like you are right, that things will never align for you and MM... how are things going with H? Are you both still making the effort?

I am as insane as always, here... it is good to hear from you!

-lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 08-23-2003 - 8:56pm
hi sweetie so good to see you l think my PMS makes so upset about ev erthing in my life so sick feel so unhappy and missing my baby rigth now not my sg at all. go read what posted here just now see what did, hugs kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:13pm
Hi to All of you and thanx for all of your words, I am doing all right, and I do love my H, that is where my choice lies, counseling is going really good for us and I am finding that I actually ENJOY spending time with H. When I said I didn't understand how our spouses have a hold on us, I meant I don't understand why I love my H like I do after everything that we went through. And I do miss my mm, he is sweet and caring, but I am pushing thoughts of him away and concentrating on my H and on other things to make my life more fulfilling. I have accepted the fact that I will probably never be with mm, and it's ok, if it's not meant to be it's just not. I told him months and months ago, that I didn't want us to pursue a relationship other than friendship unless were both free to do so. And I have stuck to that decision even though it has hurt at times. It is better for me not to see him, and it is now harder to see him. He does pop up once in a while to see me, and I know it is because he really cares for me, and wants to see how I am doing. I just tell him I am doing fine, even though physically I am having some problems. I don't want to tell him, I don't want him to worry.

Well thanx again my friends,

Big Hugs,

itty

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Mon, 08-25-2003 - 6:36pm
Hi itty,

I missed your posted yesterday... I was nice to see you name pop up there... and I'm glad to hear that things are going well for you... even though you are finding it tough at times... you will get there...

and I just thought I would share this quote with you...

"You never stop loving someone you truly loved, you just learn how to live without them"

I truly believe it's how we all manage to get through the tough times

I hope that you will keep an eye on us all and pop back in to update when you can.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My