Just a wee bit annoyed....but okay....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Just a wee bit annoyed....but okay....
10
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 4:53pm

Hello all!

Just wanted to share some minor annoyance and irritation. So yes, I'm in a much better place mentally and emotionally regarding A. He keeps pursuing me, so I am really focusing on chilling out during the 'in between' times, and its going pretty well.

However, that said, I'm not perfect, and am slightly annoyed by his lack of response. Not majorly, but just wanted to quickly vent a bit and then move on!

So he's been the one initiating all the contact since my contract expired two weeks ago. He texted me on Monday saying he could probably get away from DW next week and that he missed me and wanted to see me. Then Tuesday he commented on something of mine on Facebook. So today I thought I'd just send him a casual what's up text, and he replies 'not much cutie, how are you doing' so I respond and then end by saying i'm thinking of your sexy ass, lol. So I didn't really ask anything in it, but I don't get a response back! That was at noon. It's just annoying sometimes because it seems like it's all on his terms, which I guess often these As are. I know, accept it, and I have for the most part, but it just still puzzles me. Why can he text me saying he misses me and is thinking of me and I will respond, but when I do, he trails off and doesn't write back? Ugh.

Okay, I'm over it! Just gonna chill and wait for whenever it is he texts me because I know he will. He always comes back.

Cheers!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 12:42am

Oh I so hear that!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 1:15am

LOL, oh Lucy, I just wrote this same post a few days ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 11:07am

Thanks ladies!

It's always nice having my feelings validated :)
And I love the list Jane, wouldn't that be a dream guy? Except the psychic thing might get annoying, haha.
Anyway, I should have just chilled out because later that evening I got a bunch of texts from him, apologizing for not responding (said his phone had died, which was a frequent occurrence when we worked together), calling me his pet names, asking what i'm up too, telling me to stay out of trouble (haha, protests today) and to text him on Sunday etc. So I'm pretty pleased.

I feel like every interaction and event in this A helps me learn. I am like a mouse in a maze, constantly modifying my behaviour to match the environment, in order to achieve my goal. Like operant conditioning! Look at that, I'm a walking psychological experiment!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 11:38am

"I am like a mouse in a maze, constantly modifying my behaviour to match the environment, in order to achieve my goal. Like operant conditioning! Look at that, I'm a walking psychological experiment!"


Lucy! If that IS the case... aren't you afraid eventually you won't recognize yourself? Is this guy really worth "operant conditioning?"


Sorry to play devils advocate but that really jumped out at me. I am worried that a few years down the road or whatever, you are going to wonder how you got there and I think you'll be able to trace it back to this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 5:29pm
You know, I just read Lucy's love history on the roll call, and I think she is up to the challenge.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 9:55pm
Happens here all the time!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 7:24am

OMG! Another good saying.


We think about them- then communicate those feelings (for me immediately). Men think about us- but simply dont act!


I know that my AP thinks about me- he tells me that all the time. But he hates texting and he doesnr communicate that way. I really have to move on from wanting the sort of contact that maybe only a woman would gve me LOL :)

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 8:25am

You guys...LOL! Jane, that list!! Too funny...and you're right that would be B-O-R-I-N-G...and isn't "boredom" what got some of us in this "mess"?


Anyway...yeah, men DON'T feel the need to communicate like us girls :) I remember telling my therapist one day what

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 12:47pm

I really hate that man cave!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2010
Sun, 06-27-2010 - 5:45pm
Thanks for the concern but my comment about operant conditioning was definitely tongue in cheek!
Also, operant conditioning doesn't change you - it changes how you react and respond. All I really meant was I am learning how to just relax a little and go with the flow of things in the A :)