keep honest, open communication.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
keep honest, open communication.
5
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 4:15pm
perception can destroy. when my AP went to drop me off today, we wound up talking about feelings, love ect. we wound up talking about that fateful day. my perception was i didn't think he cared, his perception was he didn't think i cared. he came to see me on the next day to talk to me about my emails, to tell me he recieved them, to tell me he loved me and cared about me, i broke down in tears today when he told me this. he perceived i was avoiding him because i didn't care about him, i perceived he didn't care. we got crossed, and he was hurt and took it personally. it almost destroyed our relationship. he told me he needed me and decided to contact me, and he missed me. l learned alot, keep honest, open communication. never perceive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 5:18am

Very well said Tori !

Edwina
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 7:37am
when my AP and i where talking before he dropped me off about that day he lost his job and the next day he came by his former place of work. how it was to see me. his perception was he didn't think i cared because i wouldn't see him or take his calls, it was because of my emotions, i couldn't, and i perceived he didn't care and it was over, i didn't want to see him because my emotions where wacked because of this. from this breakdown of communication, my AP left hurt and took it personally, and i was thinking he didn't care and i would never see him again. i didn't hear from him for 3 weeks, and yes i sent him another email, it was my way of saying can we talk and be friends. he told me i gave him the chance to see if he could work on his marriage and just do the right thing. he had to see me, and talk to me, he said he missed me and my sweetness and that he realized how special and important i was to him. what i'm getting at is, our perceptions of each other and the breakdown of communication almost destroyed the one thing that is important and mattered to me. my AP and i are now very honest and open about what we feel is important. i told him i was in love with him and he told me so to. we now tell each other how we feel about everything. i thank god he's back in my life, we don't take each other for granted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 4:01pm

I haven't posted on here for SO long.


It's been the old roller-coaster ride for a long time now because my MM hasn't been able to see me because of distance etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2007
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 4:13pm
i've learned now, i'm very honest and open about my feelings. like today i sent my AP an email telling him what a beautiful day it was yest that i had with him. how much it meant to me. he got back to me and told me the same thing. later we'll chat for a while. i want to hear his voice. he told me when i told him that i fell in love with him, it was the most special feeling for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Fri, 10-10-2008 - 4:19pm

I think we, women, forget that men have feelings of in security too.