This is killing me

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
This is killing me
15
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 5:59pm
My friend went out with another W last nite, and it really bothers me. I know he is a free agent now, since he is separated, but that green eyed monster is really rearing it's ugly head. He told me before hand that he was going, and I do respect his honesty. I just can't help how I feel. He knows how I feel about him, and when he mentioned her yesterday, he was quick to assure me that they are only friends. He says he feels sorry for her because she is new in town and doesn't really know anybody. I just have these ugly images of the two of them in my mind. I am really trying to banish these images, especially since he isn't mine. Well, just had to ge tthis out. Whew, I feel better now.

itty

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:05pm
I know that monster...damn, he's hard to get rid of.

But rest assured that your MM will go out with this friend and be thinking that he could be with YOU the whole time. Also, maybe he enjoys knowing this will bug you... not to be mean, but to help assauge his ego since you are *choosing* to stay with H... and maybe he hopes you'll feel strongly enough to reconsider... who knows... but you know, for sure, that he is thinking of you when he is out with her. He's already reassured you and you didn't even ask!

-lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:06pm
Sorry, my grammar no so good... that should be PAST TENSE... OM WAS thinking of you...

duh...

lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:52pm
Itty, I know it must hurt. The way I look at it in my situation... I am with my H. But I'm not "with" him. We don't have a R at all! Compared to OM and I have a "R". (I know it's an A, but come on...) If he would go out with OW, I'd be jealous, hurt... But you have to be happy that he seems to be being honest with you which is good. Hang in there hun! ~passion
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 9:26pm
Oh Itty, it is sometimes hard to get the brain and the heart to work together!

Stop planting those images into your mind! Weed them out, and sow other seeds - something that has you appreciating the beauty...like the fact that he really is a great friend, and is honest and up front with you...like the fact his friendship for you isn't based on feeling sorry for you...like the fact that he Still thinks of you!

I hope you really are feeling better.

Hugs,

Meow

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 9:28pm
Hi Itty,

I don't care what people say, Men are just as jealous and want their woman to be jealous too. maybe he's just trying to get a rise out of you, so give it to him, in an encouraging way, but with lots of questions... LIke say, how was dinner? What did you have? Is that a good restaurant?

LOL

=)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 9:41pm
If you were separated, would you be dating? Or would you be exclusive to your MM? I think you have to ask yourself what you would do in his situation because that may be the key to why you are feeling jealous. Perhaps you wouldn't be dating, so it is hard for you to understand why he needs to date, and/or it hurts your feelings? It is always best to address your true feelings, or they come back to bite you in the butt!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 7:12am
LOL Thanks lily...I needed that.

itty

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 7:22am
I saw him for a few minutes last night, didn't have time to talk, H was waiting for me at home. But he didn't act any different towards me. He did tell me it wasn't a "date", she is just a drinking buddy. And from what I heard from mutual ppl we know, that he was way too drunk to do anything. So this helps banish some of the images. This OW knows about me, and I am sure she wonders about my R with him also. Which is fine, let her wonder. He did tell me to call him this morning. So I will after H goes to work. :)

Hugs,

itty

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 7:28am
Of course it hurt my feelings that he was with someone else, and when I was separated I didn't date anyone. Not even MM. I had no desire to date anyone at the time. Like I said, it wasn't a real "date", I don't think he is ready for that, I think he was blowing off steam. He is newly separated, been M a long time, and things haven't been good for him for a long time. I know what he is going through, I did the same thing, (drinking and partying) after I left my exH. So I am hoping he gets this out of his system.

itty

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 7:29am
Thanx, Passion

Pages