Kitty? Where Are You?
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Kitty? Where Are You?
| Sat, 05-15-2004 - 7:52pm |
Hello my friend,
I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking about you.
Summer break will be starting soon, and I wondered how things were going?
Any "coat checks"?
I haven't been following as closely as I should be, so I hope that you see this, and I look forward to your reply.
Take care
Red

Hey it's good to hear from you!! I thought I'd lost ya. I haven't been on for a while. I posted one day last week. It was just an update, but I talked to you. Didn't know if you saw it. Look back a few days and it's there.
We have been talking non-stop ever since I exploded. It has been great. I haven't approached him at all. I took your advice and let him come to me. He is the one that has been opening discussions about the A. Each day the flirting goes a little farther. On Thursday, we started playing this silly game and it started with me IM"ing him BOO and it went from there. One of the statement he came back with was "me and you" and i said "ooo me and you" and then it went on a little further and he said he wanted to meet me, but he couldn't that day after school but that it was "me and you". Later that day, he asked me about some scoop on his job. I had found out a few things and so I reported them to him and I informed him that I was "great and awesome". He said nope, he was, that I was just ok. I said nope I am and I am also PERFECT. (joke we share) Anyway he told me that, WE ARE AWESOME and I said PERFECT.....to which he answered.....YES WE ARE. But then he said we needed to change the subject....ha ha So things are going great. I really miss talking to you. I will try to stay on as much as possible this summer. I am really looking forward to summer break. Maybe it will give my heart a chance to catch it's breath. I don't know how things will come out. He asked me on Thursday too if I would go with him to the rodeos sometimes. I said yes, but only if I get to go somewhere good......not one of those po-dunc rodeos. I honestly don't know if he is sincere, but he seems to be. He is making attempts tho and I think that is the important thing. I cannot remember what all I talked about in that post (see if you can find it - Things are looking up) I think that is what I called it. I did ask him if he read all the nasty things that I wrote him that day and he said yes......every word of it. He also said that it didn't piss him off really, so maybe it just made him take a few days and think. It was on a Wed. afternoon and we had the next few days of NC so I know that he at least thought about it for a while........oo and on Thursday when we were talking about meeting, we usually go to my niece's apt. but it was unavailable....I told him that I had a $50 that was burning a hole in my pocket.........he said "THAT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN CAUSE YOU'D HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD" this was a sore spot in my explosion. ha ha so I do know that he listened to every word. He told me that I was hot headed sometimes and that when I got mad I didn't "reason". So maybe he feels I haven't been reasonable in assuming that his behavior means that he is finished with me and this relationship. I just know that right now, even tho there has been no IC, we are just as good as ever. He told me "you make me have a great day"....... Could I ask for more than that????? There have been no "coat checks" but he has been by a couple days and told me he "just needs a hug". So..... Friday was western day at our school....he brought his horse and let the kids watch him shoe it.......I had to go home and take a cold shower. Something about those jeans, and chaps, and hands working so hard.................. Ok ok enough, I know I'm rambling but there has been so much said and implicated........ You know Red, my friend has been in a very long term affair and she finally got a divorce last year. Her MM has yet to follow through with his divorce. I see the pain she is going through and she says that she has made a big mistake because her daughter is now without his dad fulltime. She has been with this man off and on for 15 years......and he still makes excuses to stay in his marriage........ I see that Red and I hear her tell me she wouldn't wish it on anyone, the times are great when they are great and terrible when they are terrible........and this makes me wonder if I should be careful what I wish for here with my MM....... For right now I will take this friendship....because it means a lot to me to have someone to make me smile and feel good about myself..... I will try to work on my feelings over spring break cause I know that it's best to keep this physical distance. I think it would start a fury in both of us that maybe uncontrollable if not watched.........
How is everything with you and your H??? I hope it gets better for you. I know how bad it can be, on the flip side of all of this, I've been there. It isn't pleasant and it takes sooo much work. If you need me for ANYTHING at all from me please let me know. I will try to help any way I can.
Thanks for posting to me. I appreciate your friendship. I just hope that I can return something back to you.
Thank you so much for your reply. I am glad that things are looking up. I did read the post from May 13, and it definitely does seem positive.
As long as you feel good, that's all that matters.
You deserve it.
I think about you often. Keep it up (the letting him come to you).
This shows at least you know where you stand. You know that he does have feelings for you. What a blessing. There is nothing better.
Above all, the friendships that these situations bring, are the hardest to give up, so embrace it, devour it, and try not to sweat the other crap. Oh, and if "coat check" doesn't happen this year, there's always next - LOL!!!
BTW - watch for my update.
Take care
Red