lack of support? lack of common sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
lack of support? lack of common sense?
3
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 9:18pm

I have been lurking for a few years, but rarely post. There are quite a few people saying that this support board is not being very supportive lately. I guess my take is while this board should be supportive and non-judgmental of people having affairs, it is unrealistic to expect blind-faith and support for lack of common sense.

For example, whether one is in an affair or not, it is just responsible and prudent to use protection. When I read about people getting pregnant (either real or false alarm), it makes me wonder if they could be pregnant, they could also catch any number of STDs. Same with people who tolerated and stayed with abusive APs or any partner in that matter. It is not about the affair, but the poor choices people make (apart from the affair; sometimes the affair is actually the least "offensive" of all) in general that attracts tough love, and criticism.

Having an affair does not excuse one from making sensible choices in other aspects of one's life. While there are many people on this board that fits this description, unfortunately there are just as many that appear to be completely whacked out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2009
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 9:28pm
I get lots of constructive criticism and advice on the board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 10-29-2009 - 4:55pm

Sigh, it saddens me to see that the "lack of support" debate is still playing out. In my early days it took the shape of people who didn't cheer lead from the side lines being accused of either being a bitter BS (which was rarely the case) or just not GETTING it. It had several mutations culminating with "only people in active affairs should post here" by the time I stepped down as cl.

The thing is? Most of us who have been in an affair can still appreciate the early giddiness, nerves, and stress over what they had just done or were about to do. We can appreciate the raw emotion and the ups and downs of the roller coaster ride. And most of us can sense when the train on said roller coaster is about to crash and burn.

I agree with the long time lurker, sometimes poster who said that supporting stupidity is just greater stupidity. Of course, be careful. Also, do remember that MAS always has been and always will be a place where people come to preach. Some of us still remember where the RAV button is and use it. So there will always be those "you are pathetic" (to borrow spankydoll's analogy)posts to weed through. Hopefully though, you will be able to.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Thu, 10-29-2009 - 6:32pm

What Shadowz said - all the way!!

lightning in my heart