If that's your real name, I suggest you change it to something not so obvious. I would also suggest seeing a MC and maybe sex therapist for you both. If after all that efforts things still remains the same, then maybe you both can stay M but open or get a D. You shouldn't be without if you still wants it...KWIM?
Hi Michelle, you say you can't leave due to circumstances. Well, you can leave, circumstances whatever they are won't stop you if you want to go. They can make life very difficult, but if you don't want to stay, then don't. I'm recently separated from my H of 14 years. I don't have enough $ to move out, he won't go, so we are separated under the same roof but we are not together. Like you that was after years of s*xual starvation and I completely understand what you are going through.
If you are unhappy and you've tried everything, then you need to go even if it is difficult. Don't start an A because it won't help. It will make things so much more difficult and complicated than you could ever imagine.
I don't think these ladies were attacking you, they were just saying that an affair is not the answer to fix your marraige or help you stay happy in a bad marraige.
Thank you for your answer. I do not think that anyone was attacking me either, I just meant that I felt those two sentences from pisces were kind of "unempathetic". I completely agree that an affair is not the way to fix a marriage. I am not trying to fix my marriage I feel like I had closed that phase... However, I do feel like I can not leave just yet (several factors that I can not write down here, because I do not want to risk being identified...)I still have gentle feelings for my spouse even though they are strictly platonic. I do know that I will leave him eventually - in probably not more than a year or two the most. I just feel unable to proclaim this to him yet. Every single day I feel closer to leaving him but not just yet. It is a grieving process...
The reason why I am here on this board is because I have a serious crush on someone that I have just started to make friends with... I think about him all day and I dream about him every night... This is the main reason that I am here, and I appreciate every insight and thought on my situation.
He has also had violent outbursts throughout our relationship, a big factor in our alienation. (He never hit me but he did toss me around a bit and threw things..).
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Edited 8/30/2008 10:39 am ET by michelle_wadsworth
Hi Michelle, you say you can't leave due to circumstances. Well, you can leave, circumstances whatever they are won't stop you if you want to go. They can make life very difficult, but if you don't want to stay, then don't. I'm recently separated from my H of 14 years. I don't have enough $ to move out, he won't go, so we are separated under the same roof but we are not together. Like you that was after years of s*xual starvation and I completely understand what you are going through.
If you are unhappy and you've tried everything, then you need to go even if it is difficult. Don't start an A because it won't help. It will make things so much more difficult and complicated than you could ever imagine.
Pisces
Michelle welcome to MAS.
Edited 8/30/2008 10:40 am ET by michelle_wadsworth
Hi,
I don't think these ladies were attacking you, they were just saying that an affair is not the answer to fix your marraige or help you stay happy in a bad marraige.
Hi belle's,
Thank you for your answer. I do not think that anyone was attacking me either, I just meant that I felt those two sentences from pisces were kind of "unempathetic". I completely agree that an affair is not the way to fix a marriage. I am not trying to fix my marriage I feel like I had closed that phase... However, I do feel like I can not leave just yet (several factors that I can not write down here, because I do not want to risk being identified...)I still have gentle feelings for my spouse even though they are strictly platonic. I do know that I will leave him eventually - in probably not more than a year or two the most. I just feel unable to proclaim this to him yet. Every single day I feel closer to leaving him but not just yet. It is a grieving process...
The reason why I am here on this board is because I have a serious crush on someone that I have just started to make friends with... I think about him all day and I dream about him every night... This is the main reason that I am here, and I appreciate every insight and thought on my situation.
Michelle
Michelle -
Well - I had a big long reply typed out to you - and I lost it all.
Edited 8/30/2008 12:59 pm ET by michelle_wadsworth
He has also had violent outbursts throughout our relationship, a big factor in our alienation. (He never hit me but he did toss me around a bit and threw things..).
Another reason not to have an affair.
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