Last night..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Last night..........
7
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 3:40pm
Last night before I left for work, H and I got into a big fight and I told him that when we get things squared away, perhaps we should separate. We've talked about it before, so it's nothing new. Then I went to work, and one of the girls there threw a little party for MM because his W is having a baby soon. We work in a close knit section at our job, and few people know that we have a relationship. This is one of the ones that knows. During the shift, while cake was being served, and everyone was congratulating MM on the impending birth, I just sat at the desk eating feeling so jealous. Not of the attention he was getting , but the fact that I wish it were me who was pregnagnt not his W. Later he asked if everything was alright and the only thing that I could tell him was that I was fine and why shouldn't I be. I know that I shouldn't be jealous of what's going on, that it was going to happen one day, but I am. It bothers me a lot, considering I've been trying since last year to have a baby with him, and his W got pregnant. Get this, he told me they were only together once that month. She ended up coming home during her break, woke him up(we work ninghts), did the deed, and then went bavk to work. He knows she planned it, and he's told me such, and I know it takes two. I just can't help feeling the way I do. I feel like a very bad person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 5:24pm
Don't feel like a bad person. Why should you. You are only human. And it is only natural to be jealous and a little hurt. I know that I would feel the same way and prolly everyone else on this board as well. It just seems a little messed up that this co-worker who knows about the two of you would throw this party for him having a new baby. I would stay of her way. She sounds dangerous. Don't beat yerself up over this one dahlin'! Find something else to focus on! Of course, I know that is easier said than done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 5:45pm
I'm really sorry about that, I know how it feels to deal with the om having a baby with w. But I had a question. Did you mean that you and mm have been trying to have a baby or you and your h? I also know how it feels to try and try to get pregnant & not seem to be able to & everyone you know gets accidently pregnant. I agree with the last post that I'd stay clear of that one coworker who knows, that was a rotten thing she did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 09-17-2003 - 6:43pm
Hi katavila,

I think that what you are feeling is not just the impact of MM's wife being pregnant... but also of the fact that you have been trying to fall pregnant and have not been able to do so. Trust me... this can affect a woman a lot.

I've been there and done that... TTC is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with... and I'm thankful that for me it's over and done with. It took 2 years, severel ops and a miscarriage to finally conceive my DS... the whole time I had friends, family and coworkers around me falling pregnant... and mostly by accident. Sure... I was happy for them... but at the same time I hated them... why them when I couldn't. Second time around... I knew what I was in for... and I wondered whether it was worth all the pain and heartache all over again... was I strong enough?

I can't really offer any words of wisdom on this one... just offer my support... it's something that only you will be able to get through.

hang in there and stay strong.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 12:59pm
H and I have been trying, but if I ended up with a baby from MM, I wouldn't mind. I love MM so much, that this would be a dream come true. As for the co-worker, yes she is a spiteful person. I've never worked in a building where everyone was out to screw with each other. This woman was in the same boat. She ended up divorcing her H. Her MM only seperated from his wife. After almost five years of being together, she kicked him out because he still hadn't gotten his divorce. She's not a nice woman, and is mostly jealous of the relationship I have with MM. It;s been 4 1/2 years since we started our A, and we still have the same relationship as before. Both of us want more, but it's hard right now with the children. I think it's also easier for us, because we went into our A with eyes open. I always knew that MM's W would want to have another baby. It just hurts all the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 2:14pm
Katavila,

I think how you are feeling is totally normal and to be expected for two reasons, #1, you love him , and #2 you are trying to have a baby as well.

I understand the jealousy and hurt of him & his w having their baby. My MM and his W just had their second baby and I wish so much that I had his baby. I can't get pregnant anymore (I had a tubal) but If I could I surely would. It drives me nuts that she has his children. And the worst part is , is that she doesn't enjoy it and isn't proud of it at all...

~Wishing~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Thu, 09-18-2003 - 3:47pm
You're going to get pregnant by your MM and tell your husband it's his? Or are you single? I'm in a dilemma because I want a baby but if I'm going to fall in love with MM, I'm going to want to have HIS baby. I'm already wondering what that would be like. A mean little devil inside me has dreamed of the possibility of getting pregnant by him and not telling anyone it was his, but I don't even remotely want to do that. It was just fun to think about doing! I guess I've watched one too many soap operas!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Fri, 09-19-2003 - 12:14pm
I already have one child, and I's possible MM is the father. The thing is, I love him so much, that I only want to have his baby. I can't imagine anything else in the world. I hate the fact that MM's W is pregnant. I especially hate the way she went about doing it. I know that MM loves me, and wants to be with me. I feel the same way. I also know that he's told me whenever I want, we can try for another together. In March of this year, I ended up having an early miscarriage. The horrible thing was, I knew that it was MM's because H and I hadn't been together in a month. I was horribly devestated. Even thinking about it now, I get tears in my eyes. Now here it is six-months later, and no such luck.