Leaving the Board -

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
Leaving the Board -
32
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 1:05pm
I havent posted here for awhile and posted a couple of times on the EA board. I guess I was hoping/looking for some *friendships* online so I could talk out my feelings about the A and my OM and my M...but seems everyone wants to SOLVE the problem.

This is just my opinion - and my 2 cents worth - but I think most people coming to this board are looking for a hug, an ear and someone to talk openly about their A without judgement. Maybe that happens more than it seems, but in my case.. well...I got lots of "YOU SHOULDs" and not many cyber shoulders to lean on. I know it is hard since this board is so big now, and that mostly everyone just reads the posts and moves on without answering. I am taking such a risk to sneak time on this board - for nothing! So, I am moving on- as they say.

Good Luck to everyone on this board...maybe ya'll will be better at finding that online buddy to share the sad and the happy moments with. I'll have to keep mine to myself now... or share them with the cat.

Chloe

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 1:23pm
hi chloe big hugs sweetie l know never talk before but l'm here for you anytime.before l came here met all girls here l could never talk to anyone about me and mm he so special to me.never again love man way l love my mm he very good loving man he has always been so good to me.my mm loves me to like love him to. sweetie if you like you can e-mail me at geaoann@yhaoo.com anytime chloe. hugs kimmy
kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 1:31pm
Hi Chloe,

I'm sorry to hear you're leaving, and the reasons why. Last year I made some really good friends on this board, and I would hope everyone would have the same opportunity. For me, the board has changed significantly because the people who come here regularly now are different and I haven't had as much time to get to know them. I suppose you're right: sometimes you just need to vent and don't want to hear how to "fix" things... I tell my H all the time to stop fixing my issues and just listen! Funny, you wouldn't think you'd have to say that on a board of mostly women!

Regardless, whatever your situation is now, I wish you the best of luck. Maybe if you're willing to come back in a few weeks or months, the atmosphere around here will change again... you never know... these things are organic.

Take care,

lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2002
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 1:57pm
Hi Chloe,

It's very hard to find someone in exactly the same situation. I've been on and off this board since Jan 2002, and have seen it change all over, depending on who's here. People come and go faster than you can keep track of. If you check back in a month, I guarantee there will be different people.

I've been here when it was all one big rah-rah, you-go-girl session. I've seen weeks and weeks where it's nothing but sob stories from people who should wake up and smell the coffee. I've seen interesting, intelligent conversations, too, and people who are realistic about their situations.

In all this time, I've met exactly one person who seemed to be in the same situation as I am. More often, I get flamed for thinking I'm actually happily married and happily having an affair. People see things through their own lenses and not others'.

Talk to the cat, if you like. . . but come back in a month and see if it's different.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 3:21pm
This board has not been the one to provide support without judgements lately. Its because the member posting here have changed and are not looking for friendship or cameraderie like before. Its seems to be a game of one-upmanship to prove that they are the best and in the most perfect situation. Sometimes the truth told as it is has been not accepted well by the posters. Its a combination of both, that you have received here. Chloe its sad to see that you want to get *friendships* here rather than offline and in real life. Online friendships are not often what they are made up to be....


Edited 9/10/2003 3:26:14 PM ET by charmed1007
Avatar for elizajane_1850
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 4:01pm
I understand what you mean - I came here to hoping to find a place to just talk about "joe". I mean there is no one else you can talk to about what I'm feeling with him.

My e-mail is ElizaJane_1850@hotmail.com - I would love to have some e-pals just to chat to.

I would love to talk to other W who are M and see a S-OM.

EJ

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
Wed, 09-10-2003 - 9:03pm
Chloe, I'm sorry you feel that there is no one to talk to. I am new to the board, so I haven't had much time to meet anyone. I have seen alot of judgements. I too just want someone to talk to that will not look at me and think, what a _lu_. People who haven't been in our shoes, who don't know what we've been through and how we deal with things, right or wrong, they shouldn't judge us. Because I always thought, how could anyone do that to someone, cheat that is. If you want to cheat just leave them and then they won't be hurt. But it isn't always that cut and dry. Anyhow, if you would like to drop me a line email. The board allows you to email me if you click on my name. Anyhow, I hope to hear from you. No judgements, just a ear to listen. Bye
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 12:36am
Hey chloe,

I'm so sorry to hear you feel that way... I was actually thinking that things on the board were starting to get better with a lot of lurkers having courage to come out of hiding.

I do understand what you are saying... but I think that there is only the odd few who still insist on trying to solve everyone's problems... and I try and try and emphasise that the board is about support and accepting each other for who we are and what we do with out life. Sure... I don't agree with everyone's view... but that's me and my opinion... I will advise when I feel it's right... but it's up to whoever to whether that want to take that on board.

I always promote that you are more than welcome to email me anytime... I may not have the right words to solve a problem... but I'm more than happy to be that shoulder to lean on and give you that ear to listen.

I wish you all the best in love and life and remember... simply by this post and the responses... there is people who do care.

luv and hugs

Sweet

sweetc_@hotmail.com (careful of that underscore)

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 1:45am
JMHO...

I've met a couple of really cool women here, If you need an online friend Instant message me with AIM my screen name is Thinkhppy6... or you can email me at thinkhppy6@yahoo.com... Don't feel neglected, no one wants you to leave...

Hugssssssssssss

=)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 8:01am
I'm relatively new here (about a week) and I'm looking for friendship and comeraderie. Although I have noticed a couple of members are judgmental and engage in the oneupmanship games you mentioned, I don't think it's fair to lump everyone into that group. I personally believe almost all of the EMAs I've read about here are more justified and "better" than mine, and that's what's helping me put mine into perspective and hopefully keep myself from doing something I'll regret. Sure, we've all posted things that haven't gotten responses, but that's part of ANY message board or e-mail loop. That doesn't mean people aren't reading your posts and learning from them. It just means they don't have anything to add to what you've said. And it's easy enough to block posters on here, so if someone seems judgmental, why not just block them and focus on those people on here who have sympathy for your situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 10:01am
I don't think there are any here who have sympathy for my situation. HAH! Anyway, it doesn't bother me, for I am not the one with hidden agendas or anything like that, if you know what I mean. I was merely commenting on the board situation for Chloe's benefit, that's all. I can pick only a couple of posters I feel like posting to and others I don't even like the tone that they post. Its got too much of the ME ME ME tone to it, if you know what I mean. LOL Then there are other who fill up the board with nonsense to stop real posters from posting. I don't like that either. I am sorry I must be the odd man (woman) out. That's why I probably lurk here.

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