Letter to the OM
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Letter to the OM
| Wed, 02-18-2004 - 2:19pm |
I know this is going to hurt but here goes on what I think. I need to have somebody who can talk to, share little jokes and what I did that day however mundane it may be. I cannot go on like this without any communication for a long time. It is really hard to see where you are coming from sometimes. I think opening up and communication can fix all of our problems. I know you feel guilty but you are already in the game. Do you think I don't feel guilty - yes I do and yet why do I want more? I don't know, maybe I am naive. I am willing to take a chance. Why is that it is OK to fanatisize and get somebody's expectation up and down than to do what you really want to do?
I hate to yo-yo like this in an relationship that is already wrought with up/down emotions. Its not good for my mental peace and in the end its not doing us any good.
I don't want to fight no more and all of out fights are beacuse of silly things that we have misunderstood or misinterpreted. I am not going to force you to see things my way, but I want to know I am here if you need me. You know where I am if you need, drop in a line and I'll be there.
Edited 2/19/2004 10:18:15 AM ET by anotherlifeforme

"It is really hard to see where you are coming from sometimes. I think opening up and communication can fix all of our problems."
I have told him that before ........ didn't get answer to that.
Why can't these MM communicate ?? is it because they are men ? is it because they can't make up their minds what they want ?
It is so simple , lets try to meet once a month , call or email once a week ...... is that so hard to do ? Is that so much to ask for ?? ........never got an answer to that . but got a phone call when he was ready to meet . I just don't get it .
xoxo ViperDiva
Maybe I'm wrong, but I think sending it will just make him think you are acting like a "wife" which they already have. He doesn't want another woman analyzing his feelings.
I've gone thru the NC before, I tried to keep things "breezy". Because for my MM anyways, that's what he wants, is a "fun" relationship, not a serious, "analyze that" type of thing.
I wrote lots of things like your letter. But I kept them to myself, I never sent them to him, even though I was really hurting alot from not hearing from him for several weeks.
And now we are back to together again, I think if I had sent those letters, it would never have happened, I would have "guilted" him away from me.
If I ever want to really end it, that is when I will send a letter like that. JMHO.
Take it or leave it.
Dusty
Dusty
During NC times, the monsters crawl out of my closet and keep me awake all night. I'm a writer, and I swear I could give Steven King chills during those times. LOL
I try not to inflict those feelings on MM. But if I'm really wrestling with them, I might not write anything. Its better to talk about the problems that are bothering me than to email about them.
However, silence never fails to get a response. The last time I didn't send my daily note, I was informed that even if it hurt him to read it, it was part of how I was feeling and he needed to know. Then he used my own words on me, (the rat), "How can I help fix what I don't know?"
So, at least in our situation, I'll keep writing and sharing...the good, the bad, the scary, the funny, the sexy...We talk almost every day. I just wish we could see each other more often, and I suspect that's getting ready to change as well.
::crossing fingers, toes, and eyes:: Please excuse any typos. LOL
Cazrida
You sound like I was during my first A - where the contact was completely sporadic and more at his whim than mine. I was looking for more - otherwise, why bother, you know? Unless that's the parameter set at the beginning.... my current MM calls at least once a day since I think he knows that's how you keep the relationship going and strong. My gut reaction to your commentary was that you are being used more at his leisure and this A isn't giving much back to you - which I personally think is something you need to make it work. Yes, being in an A is still a roller coaster, things happen that disrupt contact, each situation is different - I understand all that, but if you've tried to communicate some of your needs and no one is listening, I think it's time for you to reevaluate... just my two cents....
Jill