LIBERAL IS CRASHING - I need support

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
LIBERAL IS CRASHING - I need support
15
Tue, 08-19-2003 - 2:07pm
His "I'll call you back in a little bit" has turned into almost 3 days and still no call...

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 8:35am
The bottom line here is that you have to do what you think is best for your relationship. Everyone else here...myself included....can only use what you have posted and put it into our own situation, which may be completly different from yours. I am in a LDEMA and while I do most of the calling, he completly funds my trips to see him....Airfare, hotel, meals, etc. So if he doesn't call here or there like he was supposed to, it doesn't bother me. I don't think that he loves me any less, or that he does not think about me, I just think our situation is different. So you have to take into consideration what *you* are willing to put up with and make a decision from that. The only thing we can do is talk about our experiences and be here for you for whatever decision you decide to make.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 12:01pm
Kira and I seem to be reading the same book, she's just a chapter ahead of me...

He finally called this morning. He was extremely cocky about it all and blew it off as it was something minuscule like usual. Basically he asked me what I expected of him and I said I expect you to call when you say you're gonna call even if you have to sneak away for a minute. I seem to find a way to do this...he seemed to think I was specifically talking only about him not being able to see me (which I still think if he planned a little harder he could have). He was being smart and said "what do you want me to do tell her she cant go with me because Im not really going to do this or that, Im going to see my girlfriend" That ticked me off because Im not stupid and didnt appreciate his lack of understanding for my situation.

A wise friend raised a great point earlier this week. She asked me if I had evern seen "The Green Mile" and if I recalled the powers the enormous black man had to transfer the pain one bestowed upon another back onto the offender...I asked OM if he had seen that movie and told him I wish just once I had that power to show him how his actions affect me. That didnt seem to phase him much. I feel like he thinks it's my problem to deal with how I react to him and in a way I know that it is. My problem is this...for a man that loves me he certainly should be able to take my feelings into consideration and he certainly should make more of a point to see me than he does. He calls enough but I cant recall one time in over a year he's initiated us meeting....I guess he doesnt have to because I always have...

Somedays I just wonder if this really is worth it - the chances I take and the frustration I feel so often and the feelings I have that I can rarely act on - does it really ever get easier????

Liberal

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 1:39pm
Whoa, after your last post the hair on the back of my neck is standing straight up!! The ONLY reason I am still involved with my mm is because he goes the extra mile when I am upset over something, even if he doesn't understand it. He did not start off being supportive 9 years ago, but I am very vocal and emotional, and I told him when I was hurt or angry over something he did. And it's not just one way. He will tell me in a minute if I've said something mean or insensitive to him. It just wouldn't fly any other way.

What I'm saying is that if he's being cocky and rude to you, you KNOW you don't deserve to be treated like that. He obviously doesn't realize how lucky he is to be with you. I would be unavailable to him FOREVER, or until he came back with an attitude transplant!!

You cannot make him do the right thing, but you can teach him how to treat you well. I would urge you to do that immediately. Give him some serious distance.

Good luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 7:48pm
Holy Toledo, Liberal... what the h*ll do you see in this creep?

He's rude, he's selfish, and he's with you because you do all the work and make it easy for him. What's in it for you?

He needs a sharp, stilleto heel jabbed in a sensitive, well-placed part of his crotch.

It will never get easier for you because right now, he has no intention of doing a damn thing. How long are you willing to put up with that? And WHY????

Liberal, you can not get away from this guy fast enough. He has so little regard for your needs and feelings... does he treat his W this way too? I would be amazed if she weren't cheating on him!

please take care of yourself. Get out of this.

-lily

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 9:38pm
While I agree with a lot of what's been posted - you definitely deserve better; you're the one who knows the entire situation, and you need to do what's best for yourself. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck. Take care.

Minni

Pages