Literally happening right now...
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Literally happening right now...
| Mon, 09-20-2010 - 11:34am |
It seems as if not long after I come on here it's when it happens..my "gut" tells me I need support I guess.
Yesterday I didn't hear from him at all..which made me insecure from the start so this morning we start texting and he brings up us thinking long and hard about our relationship (the guilt setting in and the msg we heard in church yesterday (yes, we go to the same church)). So were texting back and forth and I call him to talk...he's going to call me back because he's at work. But I think were in the process, as I speak, of it ending..again. I am a mess and I really don't want to cry on the phone with him when he calls back so I need to recollect..help :(! Sometimes I think this should just happen and get off of this rollercoaster...but I can't imagine him not in my life..I do love him...
Yesterday I didn't hear from him at all..which made me insecure from the start so this morning we start texting and he brings up us thinking long and hard about our relationship (the guilt setting in and the msg we heard in church yesterday (yes, we go to the same church)). So were texting back and forth and I call him to talk...he's going to call me back because he's at work. But I think were in the process, as I speak, of it ending..again. I am a mess and I really don't want to cry on the phone with him when he calls back so I need to recollect..help :(! Sometimes I think this should just happen and get off of this rollercoaster...but I can't imagine him not in my life..I do love him...

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Hi TD,
I know what you mean.. as I was in a similar place in an affair that ended a long time ago.. maybe this time, I didn't want to repeat those mistakes of the past.. though, frankly, I still did in the beginning.. not a good learner here, that's for sure..
However, I do want to comment on that "somewhere".. for us, the "somewhere" is exactly where we are.. that we keep our families.. that we know there is another special person in our lives.. that, in moments of frustration, desperation, sadness, we can think that we are lucky enough that we have that other person who knows what we go through.. and just knowing that is enough for us.. because, we both know that wanting more will only get us to a place where we will lose all of what we have now.. it is worth for us to make the sacrifice of foregoing any further future, so that we can keep what we already share and are happy about..
You are right though.. not for everyone..
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