Lonely on wkends, looking for a pal

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Lonely on wkends, looking for a pal
9
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 4:58am

It's hard to say what I want in the title since it is strictly limited in character count. Anyway...

In a nutshell, I'm with an AP whom I work with. We have plans to be together in the future, but he's taking a very long time of it and it's driving me crazy. He said I can date, but I don't want to. I don't even feel it's appropriate considering the depth of our relationship and the plans we have for a future together.

I have my child with me every other weekend, and that's usually fine. But on the weekends I don't have her, especially like this past weekend, which was a Holiday, it is terrible.

Almost all of my friends are part of couples, or couples with children. It isn't appropriate, or even easy to make plans with them, and when I do, they usually want to see my kid.

So on those off weekends when I'm entirely alone, I find myself very, very lonely. There are just so many household projects I can assign myself to do, or "girl" day-of-pampering etc.

I need someone to pal around with. And I figure there are many women out there on this board who might need the same. Anyone in the NYC area want to come out and play?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2010
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 10:11am
goddess, please don't sit at home and not date while waiting on a MM to end his M. The nature of your relationship is that he could be telling you anything while you are home putting your life on hold and he has his family and W. Don't put your life on hold for this guy because you just never know what is real and what isn't. Life is way too short.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 3:54pm

Hello Goddess,


I agree with Mom_meandmyboys. You don't know what his real intentions are and you do want to keep your options open to other possibilities.

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 7:16pm

Hi, Goddess:


If your MM is telling you to date, it doesn't sound like he is leaving his W anytime soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 7:27pm

My MM would never tell me I couldn't date, because he knows my personality. I would tell him that he has no right to make that request. (I'm fiesty, and he knows it.) I can assure you that he does NOT want that. We have talked hypothetical and he turns pale and tells me he wants to throw up and that he doesn't want to picture me with another man.

I usually do things the weekends I have my daughter. I also do things on the weekends I don't have my daughter. BUT, I'm alone on those weekends because all of my friends... we get together when I have my daughter, not when she's with her dad.

So for the third time, I'm trying to say this, and no one seems to be reading what I'm actually saying.

I need an activity buddy. That's what I'm asking for. I don't have anyone to do things with otherwise, and that gets old fast.

That doesn't mean I sit at home and pine away, but being busy and doing things does nothing to free the mind of loneliness, whether your are doing a household project, exercising, or shopping. Having company does.




Edited 4/7/2010 7:29 pm ET by goddess_artemis
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 7:44pm

Hey goddess,

While I'd be happy to offer you a strictly platonic friend to hang with occassionally, I don't think I fit the bill. :-)

I am really just responding to assure you that I understood your post and hope to find someone to hang with on the w/e.

Good luck and I hope you find a good way to fill the w/e voids.

MPV

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 8:26pm

I understood what you were looking for goddess - a buddy, not advice on your situation LOL.


Why not try doing things with your friends on the weekends when your daughter is not at home - why always hang with them when she is home?

Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2009
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 8:41pm

goddess,


I completely understand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 9:35pm

Hi goddess,

I understood what you meant and believe me, if I lived close to you I would definitely call you up.

I'm kind of in the same boat, all of my friends have SO's so weekends tend to be out of the question.

There is one single woman that I know well, and I've often wanted to ask her if she wanted to workout together (I have a Total Gym in the apartment) except that she is a "skinny minny". Plus, she's a drinker too and I'm trying to cut way down on that.

Way back when, AP/BF told me that I could/should date...but that stance has definitely changed. Heck, even when he said it he knew he didn't mean it...it would make him nuts.

Anyhow, I could use a buddy too....too bad that we aren't closer!

Take care and I hope you find something...

benska

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Wed, 04-07-2010 - 10:43pm

I have no single friends. (I know lots of people, but only a few activity buddies.)

My paired friends all have kids around my age. So after booking into their schedule, any where to 4-6 weeks in advance (cause you will never get in otherwise... NYers are the busiest folk I ever did see.), well... they want to see me AND my daughter. And I'm not going to deprive them of that.

That's why I was looking for someone in a similar boat. They can relate to what I'm dealing with, and also need someone to knock around with.