Long..plz read & comment....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Long..plz read & comment....
15
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 8:27am
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Edited 9/24/2004 2:54 pm ET ET by bad_kitty314

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 3:41pm
Hi bad_kitty,

Well, it sounds as though we've had similar weekends. My H cried for me this weekend as well. That is so hard to witness. I mean, he is usually very emotionally strong, and that just broke me apart.

I have come to realize over the past few days, that as much as I love and miss my XMM, he did not love me with the same intensity - oh, I believe he loves me, just not the same. Anyway, I've always been searching for and wondering what it would be like to have someone love me in a way that they would "fall to their knees" for me. Over the past weekend, I found that I've had that all along in my H, I just didn't realize it.

He is as much so, if not more, heartbroken than I am right now. He told me that he has loved me from the first time he laid eyes on me (more than 20 years ago), and that I am his life. He even said, in a moment of exteme dispair, that right now he doesn't even feel like living. We talked about that, and he knows of course that there is much more in his life worth living for - it was just his moment of weakness.

Anyway, I'm here for you anytime, since it looks like we'll both be working on our M - probably for quite sometime. My H does know who my A was with, so I'm just hoping that things don't get ugly. I'm sure we could offer each other moral support during these difficult times.

Thank god for this board. It has saved me more than once today.

Red

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 3:46pm
Oh RED!! I hear you... I'm so confused right now. I want to try, and I want to give up. I don't know what to do first. H is pushing me...and it's partly my fault. I didn't tell him I loved OM. I told him I was only with him once, and it was a fling...

Now, I'm in despair over OM, and I can't get him off my mind, and H can't know. I'm beginning to feel numb. I'm ever so grateful for this board...and be a wreck without it!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 3:55pm
I just wanted to let you know that while I have no idea what you are going through or feeling right now, I really feel for you. Your post brought tears to my eyes. It took sooooo much courage for you to decide to give your marriage another shot.

Good luck with everything and please let us know what is happening.

(((((((((((((((bad))))))))))))))))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 3:57pm
Oh (((bad kitty))), I have chills after reading your post. What an emotional rollercoaster you must be on right now...I don't really have any words of advice, just wanted to let you know that I admire your strength, and I wish you all the best as you try to sort through all of this. And remember that we are all here for you!

((hugs))

Circe

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 4:13pm
"Anyway, I've always been searching for and wondering what it would be like to have someone love me in a way that they would "fall to their knees" for me. Over the past weekend, I found that I've had that all along in my H, I just didn't realize it. "

That statement goes exactly for me too.

"He even said, in a moment of exteme dispair, that right now he doesn't even feel like living."

My husband said the same when driving back the day after the night I divulged everything to him on phone. He said he wished that his car could just meet an accident. I was horrified. It was during one of the days after the confession that I was lying next to hubby and he was asleep and I was holding him from behind and caressing him that I realized that as much as I had feelings for MM, I couldn't imagine a day in my life when I wouldnt be able to hold my husband or not be able to make love to him.

PG

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