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Looking for your opinion
| Tue, 06-09-2009 - 10:24am |
Hello
I am new here. I have been checking out the various posts and find them very interesting. I am in the early stages of having a Affair and am looking to learn/understand more about what I may experience in the future.
First a little about me and how I got here. I am a guy, in my early fortys, I have been married for 9 yrs and have one child who is 8. I am easy going and am often described as a " nice guy". My wife is 9 yrs older than me and is a good caring person at heart. So whats the problem?

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My AP and I had our first discovery only three months into the physical side of our affair (started as emotional affair with co-worker).
Hi again It Happened,
Wow, sounds like we really have a lot in common.
Kini,
Hi.
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Hi flyinghigh
I read your post to Kinni. Your initial message to me was straight to the point and that is good. So providing something along that line to new people on this site is a good thing. We all need to be able to hear things that are not sugar coated.
In regards to me, my marriage has been in decline for a very long time. First starting out being unfulfilling to where it is now with me very unhappy. After many discussions and attempts to change things with my spouse over the years ( with no lasting success ) I began to just accept things for what they were. But the past year I have gotten more and more unhappy. It has effected me on how I treat others and how I view myself. The person I met that has gotten my attention for a affair is something I did not expect. Yes having a affair is not the right thing to do in a perfect world. As I stated in a previous post the AP has unintentionally and even unknowingly shown me that I should and need to get a D. So I am not sure saying that I am taking the path of least resistance is accurate. The idea of having affair is something that has come out of the blue. I can not explain how I feel about the AP, as we have not been with each other very long and have only met one time in person. We have shared a lot on emails with each other.
Hi btrue2yself2
Thank you for sharing your experience with me. How have things turned out for you now?
Hi Vanillabeanie
I sent a message to the address you provide. I would be interested in talking with you more and learning more about you affair as it does appear we may a similar experience.
In regards to my comment of my spouse being a bitch, its sad but true. Her meeting someone else will not make her a happier person. This is her 3rd relationship. The previous two failed due to same thing I am experiencing. She needs to look at herself
IT,
Hi.
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So, the discussions and attempts to change things met with no success.
Hi flyingagain
I have had discussions with my W in the past. However I have not used the exact wording you have used. Yes I have told her I am unhappy and do not like how she treats me. I have not threatened her with a divorce, nor have I told her I would have a affair if she did not immediately change. I have not considered having a affair until recently. Also someone making a immediate change is most likely impossible. You may get a change but it would more than likely be short lived. I have seen my W attempt to change but she always returns to the way she is.
I have ended up speaking to a counselor at my childs school as my wifes behavior and our home life has effected our child. While in discussion with the Con over a essay written for in the class
IT,
Hi again.
<>
Ah, I see.
Hi Flyingagain
<>
Ah, I see.
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