Looks -vs- ???
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Looks -vs- ???
| Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:57pm |
OK - today at work a few were talking about M's, EMA's, etc... the comment was made that most EMA's start because of physical attraction and personality comes second. And that men will have EMA's with attractive women and then see if they have a personality; women on the other hand, weight looks and personality equal.
So a man won't have an A or even think about an A unless woman is attractive; even though she may be the biggest B-----.
Makes sense but seems a little vain, doesn't it?

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Blah, blah, blah, blah... All people are alike. We all look, some just don't touch.
jen
But I think it works both ways. I'm sure there are women here having affairs with men they just want to have sex with and the uncomplicated nature of doing so is appealing after the rituals of dealing with husbands. Similarly, I think there are men who are finding out what they thought was important when they were younger (being a raving beauty queen) is not necessarily the things that make a good mate.
I don't think any of us are having affairs with people we don't find attractive. I just think as a matter of course women are a little less shallow than men when picking a mate/affair/fling/whatever.
For the record, I fell very hard for my OW's personality before I really had much of an idea what she looked like. I am very, very attracted to her, but she is not empirically the most attractive woman I've dated; my wife is actually much prettier in a traditional sense. But the bond I have with my OW and the way we share so much of a connection is absolutely the biggest turn on for me.
Just my thoughts.
rain
Most people haven't a clue who is or isn't so most just assume it's some business type shallow man out for a piece of HOT a$$ and some money hungry gold digger homewrecking whore bopping her boss -
I am sure if people knew what I was up to they would be absolutely shocked -
Same thing about MM -
Most people don't realize it can be and IS anyone --
I will admit and so would MM that we initially were not attracted to each other in a
physical way - however now that I know him heart mind body and soul I have found an
attractiveness in him that is absolutely irresistable
My MM in my eyes is gorgeous - and in MM's eyes I am the same
You see in other's what they see in you ---
Kikki
I think that most people who don't understand an affair... figure that if you are going to risk a marriage... then you're going to do with a good looking person.
MM and I met online... and we seemed to have some connection before we met.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
This it what happened with OW and I. I just read a post of hers at a message board, and something about the sweetness of it, just the open and sincere quality of it made me reply to her. I just felt drawn, I couldn't even explain it now this long after.
I think we're both attractive in our ways and have had our share of admirers. To be honest, I've always dated women a little out of my "class" because I'm a rock and roll star (HA!) and I'm kind of emotional and artsy -- sort of the "bad boy who isn't really bad at all." LOL. No one is crossing the street to talk to me, but I apparently have enough going on not to be a detriment to my personality.
My OW and I fell for each other online, strictly by personality. When I found out what she looked like, I thought she was attractive, but I didn't really get *more* interested because of her looks, and I don't think she did because of mine. I think for us it was more of an "okay, you don't have a horn on your forehead, I can be attracted to you."
I mean, I don't think we're shallow, but a person can have limits, right? No unicorn people, no third eyes?
;)
rain
Now with that said I also have to say he is a very stessed guy with his job, yet he doesn't take it out on his family (unlike my H) and he is smart, funny, and works hard to provide for his family's future... I find those qualities attractive as well
;)
dd
Edited 5/26/2004 10:42 am ET ET by deedee5678
Edited 5/26/2004 10:42 am ET ET by deedee5678
Fresh
I met MM online and we spent hours and weeks talking and falling in love before we ever met. Yes, there was some flirting - but I had some major issues going on in my world and he was there for me...I really got to know him by his actions, first.
And when we met, I was flat on my back in five minutes.
(Understand that I had been single and _celibate_ for ten years! I am by _no_ means "easy." ROFL)
So, I don't think it had anything to do with my looks. He hadn't even seen a picture of me, and the one I'd seen of him was taken when he weighed about 50 pounds more than he does now.
Nope...Each A is different. The reasons for having an A are different. And depending on the reasons for starting an affair, the relationships and its possible outcomes are different.
IMHO, of course.
Cazrida
I didn't want to appear stupid, but couldn't figure out what the hell he meant by 3'B's (kept thinking maybe big boobs, bod)?? LOL...Anyway I finally asked him, and he told me it was beauty, brains and body (ahhh, such a nice thing to hear)!!
But honestly, it was his downright friendship and the ease with which we could communicate that first got to me. I must admit though that his handsome looks made it easier, as well (he is gorgeous to me).
Nice trip down memory lane, thanks V-
Virgogirl
My husband doesn't have that smell that I'm attracted to.
Do ya'll relate, or am I just being weird?
jen
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