LOST AND NEED ADVICE

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2009
LOST AND NEED ADVICE
2
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 12:42pm

This is very long but I want you to see the whole picture to understand it. OK when I was 17 I started sleeping with a cop it continued on and off for years. I started dating my now DH about 10 years ago. I stopped seeing the other one. I was just friends once again on and off again. I got married in 2000 and I had my children from a previous marriage. My current DH adopted all 4 of my children. He is a wonderful man. He is a hard worker good provider good father etc.. The problem is I sat and begged DH to pay attention to me to do more things and show me he loves me. He always said he would work on it. He never did. Well a year ago I began an affair with the cop who I was on and off again with. Its been a year now. The problem I am having is I cant understand why I keep going back to him!! I cant talk to him like my friend the only thing is the chemistry we have in the bedroom. I don't know what to do. I got pregnant and had to terminate due to 2 many people would be affected by my affair and he stated that he does not want anymore children he has 2 ages 20 and 7. He tells me to get over it and stop hurting myself. Its only been 2 weeks!! I wanted to end it but I cant do it for some reason. I can tell you my DH is far better of a man. He is also better looking and would not treat me the way the other one does. Why am I settling for someone to treat me like crap than to make my marriage work with my DH. The sex between DH and I there is no chemistry no foreplay no touching. NOTHING! With the other its great and that is what I look forward to. I believe I love him with all of my heart but how much more can I take with him treating me like a idiot. If anyone can help me through this I would appreciate it very much. All my friends say get away from him he is a jerk along with a

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 1:21pm

I can relate to alot of what your going through. Except my H is a cop and with him sex is work for me and usually hurts. Every day like clockwork, & rough whether I'm ready or not. AP#1 rocks my world that way though :).

You sound like your trying to choose - why do you have to choose? Why not keep H for what H gives you and AP for what you get with him? For me there's never been any one man who could do it all for me, and trust me I've looked.

-jana

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 04-02-2009 - 1:22pm

This one hit so many nerves for me I cannot tell you. Let's just say I can relate. Very much so.

Cops are an interesting breed. Above it all in their minds. The uniform and badge make them invincible. Your friends are right, you need to listen to them. This guy is only going to continue hurting you. He is showing you his true colors, I would believe him.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz