In love with 2 men

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
In love with 2 men
3
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 10:33am
I've been with my husband for 7 years, married for 3. We have 2 little boys under age 2. Are Marriage is perfect, I cant find something wrong with it, I've tried to pick it apart. The only thing going wrong in our marriage is me. I love my husband but I'm so terribly bored and he has a low libido.

I live close to an AFB, and Met a Man a Fast Company Marine Just Back From Iraq and Afghanistan. He is everything I've ever wanted in a man. He is Handsome, smart as hell, a great unselfish lover. he is amazing. and so good to me. He makes me feel so loved and beautiful.

He's asked me to marry him, he loves my kids is great with them, i dont know what to do.

My husband has met him once and I know my husband has his red flags up about him, seeing as he's been over at my house with me working on my truck.

If i could go on like this forever. Enjoying the attentions and love from these 2 amazing men i would. but for the sake of everyone else i have to make a decision. my lover wants me just to himself - he's being patient for now but there will come a time very soon when i'll have to choose between them. And hurt one or both.

Also, i was drinking heavily on a daily basis before i met my marine now i hardly touch a drop. i'm happier, i'm eating less losing weight, feeling alive again.

Any input? thx in advance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 10:55am
Also Forgot to mention... and this is a factor I think.

I met my H when I was 15 Married Him when I was 18 pregnant within 4 months now I have 2 kids and am only 21 years old. My H is 5 years older then me, he had sometime to play the field have some fun. I didnt. this A I'm having is only the 3rd man I've ever been with sexually.

I got into this A for Sex, no strings attached. I wanted some "maintnance" that my husband was to tired to provide some attention that I dont get because of the familiar nature of marriage. I was looking for a bit of excitement to spice up my life for a little while.... and now I'm in so deep I have a golden band on one finger from my husband and now An Engagement Ring from My lover that he is begging to put on my finger.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 11:27am
I don't have a lot of advice - seeing as I did the same damn thing - just some empathy. My affair started as a result of not being able to turn to my spouse emotionally - then became purely sexual - and then we woke up one morning and realized it was like the perfect marriage - 'cept I was married to someone else.

Anyway, I have wedding bands I wear when my husband is around, and a gorgeous engagement ring from the affair I want more than anything but am afraid to dive in . . .


Good luck -

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 1:19pm
whats worse is i told him before we got even a little serious that this was strictly recreation... did you tell the OM in your life it was just an affair also? or was it just something that was 'understood without being spoken? i figured my conscience would kick in - figured i'd have a good cry and snap out of it eventually... but it hasnt yet. at this point i dont think it will.

there are just no sure fire answers to this. one way or the other someone is gonna end up a loser. I'm most worried bout my children.