Love Lost, Romance and Hope Found
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Love Lost, Romance and Hope Found
| Mon, 02-09-2004 - 8:58am |
Hello all,
I know these boards are more for the ladies, but I find that a womans insight seems to be more powerful than a mans. I hope you don't mind a guy jumping in but I really feel like I need to get a grasp on what I am felling right now. My wife and I have been in marriage counseling now for sometime and it just feel like we are treading water and goin nowhere fast. Our roles in our M are completely reversed, I love passion, cuddling, carressing and lots of fore-play as well as, well I talk about everything (no I am not a closet homosexual) and there has been no passion in our relationship now for some time, at least 2 1/2 years. I found out recently that one of the problems is that she is obsessed with another guy that is a mutual acquaintance. I have been trying to stay the course and make our marriage better but she keeps pushing me away, keeping me at arms length and our communication seems to be faltering more everyday. I had not even thought about an affair, or even planned one at all. My female friends told me I should but it just isn't me. But, life throws you that curve ball and someone has come into my life. I recently had signifigant time for myself for once and had alot of time to kick things around in my head. During that time, a friend came over to keep me company and talk. Up until that point it had never come out about how we truely felt about one another until this time. Well, we sat and talked for hours the first night. Second night, we sat and talked for even longer, well then things heated up and before to long we were in each others arms. It was the first time I had felt passion like that in years, my heart was in my ears and I was alive being with her. She talked to me and touched me like no one has ever before. But in the end, I could not bring myself to have sex with her, I told her I was not ready, but the moment still is alive in my mind. We sat there for hours just talking, and she cried in my arms because she is friends with my W. She said she felt so bad and felt like a bad person for what happened. But I had been so numb inside from the emtional detachment that my W has place between us that I could not feel bad for what had just transpired. I was more concerned for her and the way she felt and what ws goin through her head. One thing I told her is a quote I learned along time ago "To deny what we feel is to deny what makes us human!" I love my W. But when the one you are with begins to destroy the person you are, to wipe out all that you truely love about yourself and you can say to yourself that I have done everything that I can to make it better, what choice do we have? I know what I did was wrong for my marriage sake, but I cannot stand how I feel, I need more than what my W can offer, and that night, I rediscovered a portion of myself that i thought was dead and buried, that night I was alive again.
I know these boards are more for the ladies, but I find that a womans insight seems to be more powerful than a mans. I hope you don't mind a guy jumping in but I really feel like I need to get a grasp on what I am felling right now. My wife and I have been in marriage counseling now for sometime and it just feel like we are treading water and goin nowhere fast. Our roles in our M are completely reversed, I love passion, cuddling, carressing and lots of fore-play as well as, well I talk about everything (no I am not a closet homosexual) and there has been no passion in our relationship now for some time, at least 2 1/2 years. I found out recently that one of the problems is that she is obsessed with another guy that is a mutual acquaintance. I have been trying to stay the course and make our marriage better but she keeps pushing me away, keeping me at arms length and our communication seems to be faltering more everyday. I had not even thought about an affair, or even planned one at all. My female friends told me I should but it just isn't me. But, life throws you that curve ball and someone has come into my life. I recently had signifigant time for myself for once and had alot of time to kick things around in my head. During that time, a friend came over to keep me company and talk. Up until that point it had never come out about how we truely felt about one another until this time. Well, we sat and talked for hours the first night. Second night, we sat and talked for even longer, well then things heated up and before to long we were in each others arms. It was the first time I had felt passion like that in years, my heart was in my ears and I was alive being with her. She talked to me and touched me like no one has ever before. But in the end, I could not bring myself to have sex with her, I told her I was not ready, but the moment still is alive in my mind. We sat there for hours just talking, and she cried in my arms because she is friends with my W. She said she felt so bad and felt like a bad person for what happened. But I had been so numb inside from the emtional detachment that my W has place between us that I could not feel bad for what had just transpired. I was more concerned for her and the way she felt and what ws goin through her head. One thing I told her is a quote I learned along time ago "To deny what we feel is to deny what makes us human!" I love my W. But when the one you are with begins to destroy the person you are, to wipe out all that you truely love about yourself and you can say to yourself that I have done everything that I can to make it better, what choice do we have? I know what I did was wrong for my marriage sake, but I cannot stand how I feel, I need more than what my W can offer, and that night, I rediscovered a portion of myself that i thought was dead and buried, that night I was alive again.

hi blueeyesguy and welcome to the board!
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board