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|Fri, 03-28-2003 - 5:41pm|
Make along story short- 6 years in a loveless marriage= no affection - no kissing no hugging no touching whatsosver (well excepted once our twice while real drunk sex!! This eventually leads to separate bedrooms and then as of today I am moving out!! We have kids 3,4&5. Meanwhile about 3 years ago my bestfriend leaves her husband for his bestfriend. About a year after that her ex and I started talking we used to hate each other literally, but he came to me and needed someone to talk to and I am not one to hold a grudge. We would talk about her and how he was doing and stuff he came to our house for dinner and stuff like like. In the meantime my husband and I are getting worse fighting about sex and affection from him and his being so cold a callous (sp) all the time. Well one night my friend ex and I get together!! At first I saw it as a bad thing but, now I realize it was an eye opener!! Sex was awesome!! Mind you my husband and I were in separate rooms by then. After the first time it was like a total tranformation for me cause up until that point I had given up on life!! I was completely over weight I never wore makeup or did my hair- I figured why my husband did notice!! I lost 60 lbs started hooking myself up workin out tanning wearing makeup and doing my hair!! Well it has been two years casual sex with this person and it is so good everytime. He has dated some girls. He is stil in love with my best friend! She is with his friend still. They have both gone back and forth for a while but its clear she doesn't love him!! I do feel guilty about lying to my friend but why she is with his friend and doesn't love her ex. My problem is I have fallen in love with him!! It's been two years casual sex were great friends we talk about everything and when we're together you can feel the cemistry!! No advice please no bashing!! I am having a hard enough time today!! Been crying and moving my stuff I really feel like a failure at my marriage!! If only I could live with no intimacy, no affection and no love or companionship I could make my marriage work!!