Lovesick

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2009
Lovesick
3
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 1:16pm

I am so sad I really messed up. I continued to email ap after response of him being busy pretty much, and it has been a long time since we have seen each other. I understood his schedule, and stress although the length of time it went on I was beginning to doubt if just didn' t really want to see me anymore. I went into this affair knowing the limitations of our contact, but didn't know how much I have fallen for him. Still I am missing him. I pushed things and his response was just adding to his stress, and I think even made him mad at me to having him text me that he would call at a certain time (or I was supposed to call him) and his message sent before that he stated he was feeling too much pressure at this point from me. This of course is the

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
In reply to: oliveyou2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 1:38pm
I can totally relate to you. Are you married? From your post its seems you are scaring him off. You need to preoccupy yourself with something. We all know how you feel. Its all consuming, I know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2009
In reply to: oliveyou2009
Fri, 10-30-2009 - 4:57pm
Did you do this all in one day or over a week? If one day...tell him that you were having an off day. I understand how you are feeling...its tough! Just give him a lil time...time does help. Just find something to do whether watching a movie or listening to music. Just keep your mind busy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2009
In reply to: oliveyou2009
Mon, 11-02-2009 - 1:25am

Hi, just wanted to write on here again after rereading my previous post. Obviously I was having a "melt down" kind of day, and when rereading it, I thought wow I have got it bad for him. I would be mortified if he ever read that post. I am so new to these feelings, that I totally submerged myself in them and haven't come out from them. I have been letting myself "feel" whatever I want to , to try and figure out what it is I really want.


However since posting that, I did send one more email apologizing, for I am really remorseful not being able to stop contacting him. I cannot believe I got such mixed signals from him, I had to get some answers. Evidently I am a slow learner, for he is able to not think about being together and focus on work, and I can' t stop thinking about him and desperately trying to figure out when are we going to be together again. It's crazy because there are so many factors involved and not like we could readily walk away from the lives we have now if we wanted to. I haven't wanted to let go of the thought of us working out. So we could be together in some way.


I realize you need to get a divorce for yourself, not your ap. I was headed in that direction before ap. You would think that would get me definitely out of my marriage for something much better is out there, but I don't want anyone else so I might as well stay married. That sounds awful, but I did ask for a divorce.