Loving H but In-love w/OM
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Loving H but In-love w/OM
| Mon, 02-23-2004 - 10:30am |
Hi..I used to post here all the time but I have only been lurking for awhile..but now I really need some help..I met OM about a month ago..and we have fallen sooo head over heals for eachother..we live about an hour apart but I go down to see him every Friday and I stay until Sunday..we cry when I have to leave on Sundays..its soooo sad..I have been with my H for six years..we got married at 19 and we are both 23..my H is sooo in-love with me..I on the other hand I love him with all my heart and soul but im no longer in-love with him..I left him about a week and a half ago..I told him I needed some time to think about my life and what I want out of it..he has been begging me back saying he will do anything to make our marriage work..I don't know what to do..I feel like crying all the time all I want to do is sleep..I miss my H soooo much..but can I really stay in a marriage where I hate to have sex with him? but Im scared if I leave I will never find anyone who treats me like he does...I mean..dang..the man runs my bath water every single morning for me..also I can't really figure out why Im leaving..I try and tell myself that Im leaving for me..but on the other hand I really really like OM..so, would I have ever left if I had not met him? And its not like he is the first person I have cheated on H with..I have been with three other men..something is missing out of my marriage that I have been going looking for..we have no kids..so this is why Im doing it now..so I wont be going though a mid life crisis when im 40 with three kids because I never got to have the fun dating life..they are both really great guys..I mean..this weekend OM got up in the morning and made me chocolate covered strawberries!! he tells me he is falling in love with me..and that he wants to be with me...and I sit and try to find things wrong with him so I can have an accuse to leave because Im scared I will regret leaving H in the long run because he is such a great guy..who would move the world if I asked him to..I'm even so messed up that I can't tell if Im listening to my heart or my head..so..should I keep with the leaving or go through with a divorce..Sorry for rambleing..Im just really scared and lonely..Thanks..little

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Yes I know the system sucks for people who can't afford private treatment . But maybe in the mean time you should put yourself on the list , until you can find other ways to get help ........better late then never .
For sure you need help because you were abused . It wasn't your fault , don't think you are a bad person . Your actions are just a result of something that was done to you in life . You are the victim don't think less of yourself ...........put do try to get help .
There is a book if you get a chance to read I think may help you a bit . It is called - "Do I have to give up me to be loved by you ", by Jordan Paul PhD and Margaret Paul PhD
I read it and it really helped me learn a lot about myself and relationships.
Keep looking for ways to get help . Don't be down on yourself . You will find happiness and then you'll back and say - what was I thinking . The hard times you go through will only make you so much stronger . God luck , Hugs , Viper
xoxo ViperDiva
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