Lurker, just need to talk to someone
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Lurker, just need to talk to someone
| Sun, 04-05-2009 - 10:31pm |
Hi. I apologize in advance for my rambling and any advice will be greatly appreciated. I'm a SW who has been involved in affair with a MM since Jan. mostly a sexual relationship. I didn't know he was M when we first started talking to him but he told me before we were intimate. I know I probably should have let him go as soon as he told me that but I didn't want to and still don't want to. For the first 3 weeks we talked every day but after that we kind of went LC(only communicate via email), we were meeting up at least once every two weeks if not every week until the middle of march then he done a disappearing act. We live about a hour away from each other. I sent him email Monday just saying I missed him and hoped everything was going ok, got a response from saying sorry I've been busy when you coming to see me, so we met up Thursday afternoon then Friday night I get an email saying that he needs time to think things through not to be mad because he really enjoys the time that we do get to spend together but he just doesn't know right now. I sent him an email back saying that's fine and he knew how to get in touch with me when he figured things out. But now I'm going crazy not knowing if and when I'll get to see him again. I know I should probably just let him go now but I don't want. I'm so worried that we may really be over. No other man has every made me feel the way he does when we're together. Don't really know what kind of advice I need really just needed someone to talk.

i'm glad you could come here with your confusion. sounds like you know your own mind - shoulda, woulda, coulda but didn't. and sounds like he's being honest about his doubts ( ... after the forgetting he's married part). yes he makes you feel like no other man but you know he's not "yours."
have you been through break-ups before? they hurt and you think it can't be true and he'll come back - for about 2 weeks. and then it will sink in.
do you have anyone IRL to talk to? use them and tell them you are using them to get through this. tell them about 2 weeks because after that, they may get worn out with your sadness.
and come back here to lighten your bad feelings.
Mrs.
hi confused,
All i can say is that although he lied in the beginning about his marriage, at least he told you before you where intimate so really you knew the situation before IC. He may be feeling guilty or just using this time to absorb the situation in his own head, at least he has been honest with you about that, and is not just stringing you along in the sense of going nc without reason. All i can say is if he no longer wishes to persue the relationship then you must let go and respect his discision. Dont do the chasing, if he wants to see you then let him come to you. I would advice though that if you are both to continue to see each other because you both want to, then you need to set some ground rules that your both going to be happy with.
"be yourself, disguise not, for your a truly unique beautiful being"
Hi, thank you so much for responding. I have been through break ups before I know the pain is going to get much worse before it gets better.
Yes, I do have IRL to talk to but she has never been in a situation like this so I want to talk to someone who has been in a similar situation.
Hi SS, Thank you so much for responding. He told it was because he always feels guilty after he has been with me and I do respect him for being honest with me and not stringing me along. I have no intentions of chasing after him. Right now I'm just going to wait it out and see what happens.
Thanks again,
Confused
Confused...it sounds like you are in a lot of pain right now and I can understand that.
Absolutely!