Making him come to you.... (spinoff)

Avatar for citygirlintn
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Making him come to you.... (spinoff)
26
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 11:24am
How do you survive while playing hard-to-get with OM? I read this in another thread, and it made SO much sense in terms of my A, and I'm sure with lots of others too!

I haven't seen OM since Saturday afternoon (but will see him at work in a few hours) and it has been all I can do to not call him to see how he is! I know this is what it's all about, but it's driving me crazy when one minute, we're making love and he says, "I could do this every morning" and then doesn't call for a week (but is still flirtatious at work)!! I'm sure he knows what it does to me.

How does everyone else survive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 12:49pm
Thanks everyone for your advice. I think you're right about the wife, even if they did have sex. He did admit to having a little last time we were on a break, but he said the difference between it and me was "night and day". I intend to keep it that way, and keep him coming back for more!! It's totally worth it!!

But I won't let him know that I want him that bad, at least, not til I can show him in person again!!

Dusty

xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 1:05pm
I'd give my eyeteeth just to be able to see him every now and then (we're somewhat long distance, about 8 hours away), so I guess he's "hard to get" all the time for me. I do admit that on days when his workload is huge, I feel like I'm going nuts waiting to hear from him and it's all I can do not to deluge him with emails. Also, he calls me on his way home from work sometimes and when he doesn't I wonder if he's eating out with his wife, etc. etc. It's rough.

I just try to remember that he's doing the best he can. I know I'm special to him and he's giving me the time he can afford to give. That has to be enough right now.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 1:38pm
I've pretty much been the agressor in our R, I like it that way (for the most part). I talked to MM on friday, and then got sick later that night, and have been un able to talk for a few days. I havent been at work to email him, and he has went nuts, my phone had 5 or 6 messages, My inbox will running over, with "hey where are you, I cant stand not hearing from you, and oh how I miss you".

This morning I called long enough to tell him what had been going on, he was so relived, and I almost had to laugh, I mean really!! But it was nice to see him in that light, and see how much he really "NEEDS" me LOL! OMG I love him so!!

dayz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 1:43pm
dayz, you have a different R with your MM because you're both on the same level - head over heels in crazy love! excellent for you, girl! i'd say you and your MM are both the aggressor, wouldn't you!

take care and i hope you are feeling 100% soon,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 1:56pm
You got the crazy part right!!

While I was in the hospital waiting on the Dr to come in to see me, I laied there thinking about the last time MM and I were together and I said to him, I love you, He said you have no idea how good it makes me feel to hear you say that!!

I felt a panic when I thougt I may never be able to say those words to him again.

I had a reaction to a spice and couldnt breath, I was rushed to the hospital and was give some meds that I had another reaction to that left me unable to speak. Dr. sitll not sure exactly sure what all was going on, but told me not to say anything for a few days. I'm a total talker so it has been He!!, Now I have a deep raspy voice to go along with this southern accent.

But your right gurl, MM and I are on the same level, I guess that is why this is still working out.

dayz
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 2:07pm
So, the moral of this thread is "let him chase and run after you" right??
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 4:39pm
Just a quick post here...someone recently said here that they had read a book named "Why Men Love Bitches." I spent an hour reading through it at Borders three weeks ago. It's very good and answers all the questions that are posted here constantly.

It applies to single men and women but it's a good read -- it's not about playing a game or playing hard to get -- it's about being a confident woman, and a confident woman does not sit around pining. Men like and need a mental challenge, so don't sit at their feet!!!

Charlotte

 

Avatar for jennlynnk
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 4:56pm
My MM and I *are* head over heals in love. We say it constantly and know every detail about each others day. I think there is a "hunt n chase" aspect to ALL male/female relationships but we need to understand that close relationships (ie, more than just sex or FWB's) will eventually go to the next level. Not that it is BETTER then the FWB situation, it's all in waht you are looking for. If it's purely sex the chase should probably go on a long time. If it's alot deeper than that the chase and more like love, the chase eventually won't be necessary anymore. JMHO!

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 5:17pm
Hey jenn

I respectfully disagree. For example, when I have to travel for work, when I return, my H is up my rear. He missed me and I think he likes that he missed me. He likes that I have my own career and interests and I don't need him for my 100% complete happiness. Now believe me, I do not have a perfect marriage (or I wouldn't be on this board), but I do think that this concept apples to all M/F relationships (no matter what the level of the relationship). I think the biggest mistake women make (and I made it for years when I was younger) is that they rely way too much on their man for their happiness. Like I said, it's not about a game, it's about being mature and confident people and keeping balance in our lives. And I think in the case of true love and a healthy relationship, the chase continues on forever...

JMHO

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Wed, 01-07-2004 - 5:27pm
I agree Jennly.

In the beginning it's all about the chase, but then after you've been together for awhile it goes way beyond that.