Marriage going down fast

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Marriage going down fast
4
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 1:37pm
Well i think im at the end of my rope. My H and I have been going at it for months. He's been accusing me of having an A which of course i deny. He started again yesterday. My MM called me while coming back from seeing his son. He wanted to know everything that happened, then he proceeded to tell me what to do. He tells that he is saying this as my friend, not someone who has saw me naked. Later in the day we met and is was the best time i've ever had with him. There was no sex, alot of kissing, talking and he held me alot. He called me later that nite twice and talked about it some more, till i said i didnt want to talk anymore about it. I have never seen him this way, and i think it shows me that he actully does care for me. He isnt one to show it normally, but it was the best thing he could have done for me. He was very supportive and tried to help me in my decision, but never pushed me. I still dont know what ill be doing, but its nice to know that i have him and you girls to help me when i do decide. He is the best thing to come into my life right now, and though i have no expectations of him, i do know that he will be there for me. Its hard on me right now, b/c i dont get to see him very oftern, but maybe it will soon change. Thanks for listening to me.


Hot

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Sun, 02-29-2004 - 10:15pm
Hot... you're going through one of the hardest things you can right now. Just keep on hanging on and know that we've been where you are and will help if we can. If I can offer just a little advise, please don't expect MM to provide too much support. He'll help as much as he can, I'm sure... but don't jump from your marriage because you think he will be a lifeline. I did that and it turned out to be more than OM had bargained for. I realized, too, that I needed to solve my marital issues myself (although a little tender loving care is just what the doctor ordered). Hang in there!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 1:20pm
Thanks for the advice. I don't expect too much more help from him, but it was nice. He has asked on several occasions if he is the reason, for this and i tell him it started months before i met him. My H of course thinks i have someone else, and that he is just in the way. I told him the last thing i need is to jump into another relationship, at least not a serious one. We've been together 15 years and married for nine, so i need some free time. But i guess we'll see what happens. Thanks for listening again.


Hot

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 1:58pm

hi hot4uni and yes, you are right when you say you need to work through your own issues, as well as the marital issues.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 03-01-2004 - 5:34pm
My MM has told me that for right now he wont be leaving his M, which is fine with me. As of yet i havent gotten attached to him, of course i dont want to be without him, but im sure i could make it alone. I have mentioned that i have read on this board that some women have been in their affairs for years, and he said he can see that happening with us. I dont know if thats a good thing or bad yet? I just need to decide what im doing and do it soon. Thanks for your help


Hot