Married Women - Single Man

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Married Women - Single Man
3
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 12:20am
OK-what would you think? SM has been my friend and coworker for three years. This past October we started seeing each other and truely enjoying the time we spend together!!! I am in the mist of a seperation from husband and SM had been involved with girlfriend for almost two years. He bought her an engagement ring this past summer. Well - everyone had been asking SM when he'll ask her, etc.... He gets VERY UPSET because he informed me early this month that he's not sure if she is the right one and he has deep/serious feelings for me and he can't get married to someone when he has those feelings for someone else.

I have shared with him everything that has been going on with my marriage and the reasons for the seperation. Come to find out, that since we meet three years ago, he has had a lot of feelings for me and wants (I was seperated before I started seeing SM - but noone knows of our relationship - I am still married and he his still with girlfriend) SM is aware that our relationship is in the "gray" area because of my marriage and his girlfriend. However, we both expressed a desire to get to know each other more and the need to be together. We have so much in common when it comes to our feelings and physical needs/wants. It gets harder and harder to be apart.

ANY opinions and advice are welcome....

THANK YOU !!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 12:33am
HI MS

I am the one that normaly comes down on the side of staying married BUT it sounds like a perfect time for you and SG to end your current R's and start fresh, better now then after he is married and has a child on the way are one in his wifes arms.

I think its time for the two of you decide were you are going if it is together then be together if not then end it, what ever decision you make sooner is better for everyone involved, his GF CAN AVOID A D and your husband can start over again, no need for them to know about the A it will just add unneeded hurt.

JMO

FREE

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 10:30am
I am lucky in a way that my OM doesn't have a g/f right now. I don't have worry about that part of our relationship too much. He goes on dates but hasn't been going steady with any one of them - and I am so greatful for that - for I would be sick with jealousy about their relationship. I would take it somewhere provided that is what you wanted to do. Do you want to leave your marriage if you hit that stage?? Think about it all before you get any deeper.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-31-2003 - 11:41am
hi msjones -- girl, tell that man to make a decision - it's either you or her! and if he wants to pursue a R with you, then go for it!

you both expressed your interest after your separation and he's NOT married, so the ball is in his court insofar as moving forward together.

go for it!

good luck,

gurl