May "roll call", and a few questions

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Registered: 03-29-2010
May "roll call", and a few questions
51
Tue, 05-04-2010 - 11:12am

OK, it's time to re-introduce ourselves. If you're tired of telling "your story", you can post a link to a previous post that contained it, or you can do a "reader's digest condensed" version. :-)

My RDC version is:

I've been married many years, have known my H since high school, have some grown children and little grandchildren. I've been involved with my (single) OM for 11 years - during which we've gone through a lot! We are very good and deeply trusted friends, who have sex. I do love him, but I feel that my marriage is happy and I love my H also, and our life together.

Now the questions...

What is it you seek from this board? Do you think you're getting what you wanted here? I've noticed that some posters have disappeared since I've gotten here, and although I realize that that is the nature of this place, I also realize I could have driven some away. If there's something you wish were different, or better, share it. Don't be afraid - it might actually improve the board! :-) Share...

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

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Registered: 01-15-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 6:23am

Hello!! I joined this board a

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Registered: 04-27-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 8:44am

My RDC version:


Met MM last summer, became friendly and friendship turned to mostly EA and

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Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 8:51am
First of all, in case I don't address you all individually, know that I've read all the posts and thank you all for the votes of confidence! A "roll call" board once in awhile is invaluable for getting to know each other and helping new members or lurkers to see that there are many in their position - often a particular person's situation will resonate with someone else and it helps to feel "not so alone", as has been said. And it's also good for CLs with ~not so good~ memories to remember exactly what everyone's situation is... ;-)

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've

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Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 8:57am

I'm sorry you didn't get the support you felt you needed when you posted previously mizzunderstood. Welcome back to MAS. You certainly did get three years in one small paragraph LOL!

One aspect of your relationships that is very interesting to me is the fact that your husband knows and allows your other relationship. There are a lot of "open marriages" that work, but both people have to be "suited" to it and open to the idea. Does your agreement with your H go both ways - can he pursue other relationships also? Just wondering about how it works. It might even be worth a thread of its own to discuss and explore.

Proud to be a





You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

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Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:01am
It's always great to have a guy's POV Never, so I'm always happy to see your posts. Your A sounds a lot like mine in nature, a grounded, deep friendship that includes sex. I hate to say "friends with benefits" because then people think there's "no emotion", but there IS emotion. :)

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

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Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:08am
"he is still very conflicted, which is hard for me because I'm not conflicted at all and it makes me wonder if something's wrong with me?"



There's nothing wrong with you, OR Oh_my_my. I've often noticed that the men seem more conflicted than the women from reading here. I'm not sure why. Maybe the chemicals we produce when we have good sex (in resources, there's a thread called "chemistry lesson" that explains that phenomenon) also obscures or eliminates all our natural guilt or prudence LOL. Whatever it is, it seems like once we're sexually bonded, we can't wait for the next time while they might just be pulling away! It does help when you see that it's a common "pattern", and you know it isn't just you.

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

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Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:13am
And I'm glad you're sticking around, even though you're moving toward a "real relationship" Brandee. I don't know if you've found "After the affair" support, but they're a great group also, with many people who went from affairs to real life Rs. You could hang out both places. :-) I've actually accidentally posted there because I like to lurk and see how my old friends are doing and sometimes I forget where I am when I read something and I think I'm HERE... There's the old fading memory again... LOL...

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:16am
Welcome here happyandyet. Good to read your story. I'm hoping your "urge" to contribute will come more often. :-)

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

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Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:19am
I've read your posts - you have plenty of wisdom to share! And, you're keeper of the squirrels and all... you have to keep posting... :-)

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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You've

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Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:22am
I'm so sorry this new turn of events has happened aliveagain! It must be devastating to get so close and then have to wonder what will happen after all. I am sorry for his W having serious medical issues also - I hope that all turns out OK! You are all in my thoughts. Hopefully we can cheer you up a bit when you come here. Cyber (((hugs))) to you!

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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

Proud to be a





You've