Me thinks (more obviously)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Me thinks (more obviously)
11
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 5:15am
that Cat is ripe for the vacant CL position. But that's just me, LOL. Cat, your muses have led me to think you might actually do well as a CL. You seem to have that "managing" thing going well in your life. Suits you to a T. That is definitely a compliment from me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 5:44am
I agree!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 7:12am
me too!!!!!!!
Avatar for 1hopeful1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 7:21am
I have thought that very thing for a while now! 100% agree!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 2:06am
Many thanks, ladies! And while I agree Molly could do with someone to support her as CL, because I know how busy she is, I don't have much time either lately. And, when I change jobs, I may not be able to frequent the board during the day (eek, I'll have withdrawals!).

LOL, I don't know if I manage any better than others - I'm just a people-person (even if my posts might sound a bit too analyitcal or uh, standoffish/reserved?) and like to think I can help by relating my thoughts/experiences, and it actually helps me to post. How about any of you?!

Thanks for the compliment, LF, Hope, Hope4 & Hooked - it's good for the self-esteem. Now watch out, now I know you don't mind the musings...lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 6:48am
Cat, you are analytical, that's fine, but I do think you ARE standoffish/reserved in your relationship with MM. What's that post about "tough love" and "replacement" post sometime back?? If I were your MM, lol I would kick your in your butt and ask you to BEHAVE... LOLOLOL Looks like sometimes you do take people for granted... This is not a bashing post, just my 2 cents. Enuff said.

oh, btw, good luck on your new job. Keep us posted on how that goes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 8:11am
You made me laugh Meow!!! Muse all you want. I know that many of your post have given me a different perspective I wouldn't have thought of. Good Luck in the new job and I hope you can sneak some time on the board to help you with those withdrawals :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 9:02am
Meow... Congratulations on the new jobS (note the plural there. lol) I've read your posts and agree that you would be perfect for any board opening. We all need a dose of logic sometimes... a reality check if you will and you administer those with a gentle kindness born out of understanding and compassion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 9:12am
I AGREE COMPLETELY! Cat is a great inspiration to us all!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 1:53pm
Thanks for the kick - I appreciate your honesty (and your's Hooked). You're right, while I'm pretty passionate with MM, I have been reserved verbally. But, MM knows me, he knows first hand what I've experienced in the sense of loss of self-worth and drawing into myself and building walls, a re-lapse, and he's patient and has allowed me the space to recover on my own. Oh, I'm writing this analytically, and I can tell because it's taken me a good 10 minutes to write thus far - but it helps me in my thought processes.

To write from the heart, I feel a sense of waiting in MM. I do know he had wanted to approach me before he did, I know he was waiting for me to make sense of my life at the time (with H asking for D). I still feel like he's waiting for something - call it women's intuition. Maybe just to abandon myself? And if so, there is something in that MM sees, though I haven't told him all I've been through in which had me building walls from when I was a child. A physically & mentally abusive father, a mother who made it clear, who said her love would always be greater for her spouse than her children, sexual abuse from a relative, near-kidnapping (gawd I'll never forget the fear of running and not being able to scream and thinking I'd never get away), rape, drug & alcohol addiction (not me) all while I was young and though I addressed my parents it was brushed under the rug. And while older, a physically abusive relationship. And that's why I I found myself in a controlling & mentally abusive relationship with H. I've just never felt "safe" with love.

I don't resent my parents because I know they loved me in their own fashion and were just ingorant in some ways. I don't even really blame H for wanting a D - I don't need "controlling" any longer. I have changed, because of my children. But, maybe I still can't feel safe yet, but I'm getting there.

And for being so reserved, it's funny that people feel comfortable in opening up to me - I'm the mediator at work, the ear in my volunteer work, friends come to me with problems, even I find strangers often tell me their problems and life story. Even if I am reserved in my self, MM tells me it's because I listen.

Well I said more than I meant to, but I'll post it as therapy in not being so reserved, lol. Thanks for reading.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-30-2003 - 4:00pm
Thanks once again for the warm fuzzies! And, I don't have that new job yet - still holding out for the big bucks, lol!!

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