Meeting my "Friend" again....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2009
Meeting my "Friend" again....
6
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 4:04pm

Hello all,


I have been lurking and writing from time to time on EAS because I ended my A Jan. 26th when he informed me they were going to try to have a baby. I didn't want to stick around for that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Fri, 07-16-2010 - 4:13pm

I really shouldn't touch this one at all given my personal history.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 07-17-2010 - 7:34pm

i wouldn't meet him if i were you.. too much baggage.. too much negative energy.. if, at this point in your life, you are looking for some excitement out of the house, find someone that you can have the least amount of drama with.. someone married less than a year with hopes of a baby and all is too much for anyone to handle.. you'll soon enough look in the mirror and see yourself as a home wrecker, whether that's the case or not. it's best that you find someone in a more similar situation as you are..

as for how to end this with him, you've already done it in fits and starts.. just do it for good this time.. do it for yourself and for him.. if he truly means that much to you, you will value what you will give him by keeping your distance.. if you truly mean that much to him, he will understand your reasoning and keep away..

there is no "just friends" middle ground in your situation, you've already gone past it, and like the arrow and bow, you can't take it back.. and shouldn't try to.. the best friend you can be to him is the friend that stays away for good..

best of luck..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
Sun, 07-18-2010 - 4:16am

DO NOT SEE HIM!! he is

when one does not love too much, one does not love enough --blaise pascal
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 12:30pm

Hi Livefortoday,


I think you are much stronger then you think. You have in the past gone 45 days NC and that is something to be proud of. I agree with everyone else who posted that you should continue NC and let him live his life with his W whom he just married and wants children with. The good thing is that you've already started NC & if you care about your feelings and his then you just leave the situation alone. If you do indeed love him the way you say you do then do him that favor to give his wife that fair chance. I know easier said then done, I'm no one to talk but I'm not as strong as you yet. I'm just not ready to leave my AP

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 1:43pm

I hope the lunch goes OK today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 9:49am

I wanted to post an update on my lunch yesterday...but first I want to thank all of you for your responses. I read and re-read them before going yesterday. But, alas, I still went.


It was great. We caught up and had a blast. He told me he thinks about me all the time, misses me, etc. But, we both agree it needs to stay the way it is, kind of friends, with no benefits, so to speak! lol!


Actually I think I may like this arrangement. I won't have to worry about him feeling guilty and pulling away after IC, and maybe I can keep my emotions in-check better with no intimate contact and we can kind of meet monthly for lunch and just "know" this connection is there. I can't really go anywhere now, and I know he's not. She is not pregnant yet, but maybe this will all change when she is. I don't know. I guess it's just nice to know he cares, just like I do, and we can be friends. I hope. So far so good, but I worry I will obsess and be sad I can't have him like I