Meeting the W...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Meeting the W...
5
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 12:07pm
O.K. I know from reading the posts that some of you know the Ws of your MM. I do not. I have no idea what she looks like, what her personality is like, or even what her name is!! I am ahsamed to say I was VERY BRIEFLY involved with a MM once before. But it was COMPLETELY different. We were at forst like each oter marriage conselours so I knew everyting about his W & M. I even had met her. One day we were talking & advising & comforting & it went to far. He said he loved me and wanted to leave his wife for me. I told him if he wanted to leave fine, but not to leave for me. I was not leaving my relationship at the time.

Back to the point. My MM now, is totally different (as my posts tell). I know he is married of course, but really do not want to know anything about the W. Now, the Christmas party is coming up and we will both be there with our mates. (mine is soon to be an ex - after the first of the year- long story)I am terrified about meeting her. What if she can see something between us? What if my SO can? What if she is STONE COLD FOX? I think that scares me the most. If she is hot, I am gonna be like? What the hell is he doing with me? Oh, I get it! It is not sex with ME, not that he wanted ME, just wanted sex.

What to do???!! I still have almost two weeks left to freak out!!!!!

Kitty

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:13pm
Well, first let me say that whatever she looks like doesn't make any difference; remember, beauty is only skin deep. Besides, she's probably fat and ugly! Whatever he sees in you is something he DOESN'T see in her, therefore you needn't worry. Next, let me say that I do know MM's W, very well as a matter of fact, and while she has made comments (as has everyone that knows the two of us, long story and too many details that can't be revealed, but MM & I are known to be friends to everyone who knows the two of us, whether others suspect more is their problem), she really doesn't believe that there is anything going on between us. neither does my H, who knows my MM quite well; they fish and go boating together and MM helped H put a new roof on our house last summer! We are quite the soap opera couple, ya'll probably wouldn't believe half of the stuff I could tell you. I've often said I could write a best seller, lots of sex, intrigue, deception, you name it! anyway, I digress. I often look at myself in the mirror and wonder what MM sees in me; I am 12 years older than he is & not in the best shape, but I like to think I'm more attractive than W is. Besides, she is a pure b*tch! Ask anyone who knows her.

I don't know if that helps. If I were you, I would dress to the nines and go to the party with a great attitude and be very aware of how you behave around your MM and/or his W and just have fun! Be really nice to her and just be yourself. She won't know anything is going on unless you slip (or he does), so just be very aware of all you say and do.

Good luck,

Pony

P.S. Sorry, didn't mean to ramble!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 1:34pm
I've only met the MM's W once. She had come to pick MM up from work when he had car problems. Unfortunately, she seemed nice. I just want to think bad thoughts about her. Thats horrible of me. MM does say she is a good mother to their two kids. He complains about everything else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 3:36pm
I know MM, W and the very first time I saw them after he and I were together, I totally avoided him, did not speak, eye contact or anything. He told my later that she asked him if I was mad at him, because, I would have normally talk and carried on with him (as best friends would) his W knew how close friends we were when she married him. It wasent till years later that the A started.

So just be careful, dont make alot of eye contact, dont spend alot of time chatting, but dont go the other way too much either.

I now can handle thing pretty well, just about 8 months back we all spent alot of time together in the Hospital with a friend who was losing her mom. I do not like the way she treats him, She came back later, and it was tuff to sit and chat with just her, listing to her complain about him, and all. Not a fan of hanging out with the wife.

I do also wonder what MM sees in me, his wife is attractive, but she is not really a nice person. She and I are nothing alike!

Good luck,

dayz
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 5:04pm
I too have the same problem of sorts. MM and I work together and our Christmas party is coming up in a couple of weeks. This is the third time we will be at the party w/ our mates and the first since the A started. I too am worried although I know what she looks like already. He and his W and my H and myself always sit together w/ a few other couples every year. At the past other x-mas parties we were "noticed" catching constant glances at each other. But then there was nothing going on so we didn't worry. Now that there IS something going on I wonder what it'll be like. I don't know if I can stand it either. I'm going to try and lay off the booze this year just so I know I'll behave.

Don't worry what she looks like...there has to be something wrong w/ her to make him turn to someone else and you are the one he chooses to spend time with. Good Luck ! :o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Tue, 12-02-2003 - 5:37pm
I am not the best at giving advice. But I would say by now you should know if you are just sex to your mate. So forget that worry. And so what if your mate's W is hot? Would he be having an A if things were great with them, probably not? Will the W be able to see a conection, maybe. But if you are about to be divorced do you care? HEre's what I would do? (well, am doing. Christmas Party is tomrrow night for me) Dress awesome! Go to the local mall have someone at CLinque, Estee Lauder do your makeup. etc. Look so hot yourself that he doesn't even notice his w! He will be dying to rip your clothes off! Plus, he wants to be with you anyway

Mic