Meeting the wife - what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Meeting the wife - what to do?
14
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:20pm
ok - havent been here in a VERY long time. very, very nervous - going to be at a function where he will be there - and so will his wife. what the #$^@ am i going to do? Has anyone every had to do this? he is confident that we (he and I) will be fine. I think that i can play it off - but women have radar - what is she senses something?

Ladies - please help!

~DB

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:29pm


dbinpgh1,

I know of the radar you are speaking of and I have been where you are. My MM's daughter and mine were friends, so his W was at my house a couple of times. What I did was made very little eye contact, kept my physical distance, never caused the scenerio where we were alone at any time, and was very casual, almost cool, but remained friendly.

I'll tell you though (which I know won't help, but is just honesty talking) his W has ALWAYS known or had this sixth sense from the moment he and I first met, even before I ever saw her. He used to talk about me to her all the time in the beginning because I was the new person on the job and he would talk about how well we got along, and that was before he and I got involved

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:40pm
the very thought of seeing them in the same room together makes me naseaous!From what i've heard - she is a horrible person - NO ONE that has ever talked about her has had anything good to say about her - no one...in a way - i want to come down sick with the sudden stomach bug - but at the same time - i want to go - look ab fab and see for myself why he is with me - is that normal?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:08pm
Oh man, this is a tough one. I just went through this myself over the weekend. MM happens to be the husband of one of my best friends, and I just saw them this weekend. I find it difficult to be friendly and not too distant or too comfortable. It's a delicate dance for sure.

My best advice is to AVOID AVOID AVOID them as much as is reasonable. Talk with other people. Don't let yourself get caught looking at him/them or sending secret glances to each other. And best of luck to you. Let us know how it goes!!

KC

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 9:09pm
I'd say it's perfectly normal! KC
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:02pm
I feel your pain. I had to spend an entire day, one-on-one, early in the morning until late at night with MM's W. Luckily, she was very friendly and chit-chatty (and either totally naiive or in complete denial). We even slipped upon the subject of affairs...eek. And of how she was starting to feel her "biological clock" recently...double eek...

I was completely and totally exhausted at the end of the day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 7:37am
Oh, my!
cl-noregretsyet (co-cl of MAS board)
&#16
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 8:25am
I met MM's wife one time at a party for a mutual friend. She was exactly how he described in terms of hateful,bitter B*)(&_*. She did not even know me and was rude when he introduced me to her. He tells me that she still throws me in his face three years later. We were not even having A. They can tell when there is a connection. Avoid to much contact with him in front of her or her friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 2:23pm
I feel for you...MM's wife is the last person on earth I ever want to meet!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:38pm
Holy #@!^!!!! What a situation!!! I haven't met MM's wife yet either, so I am trying to put myself in your shoes. I guess, be confident and cordial, but that is it.

I guess I would make sure that I looked fantastic (for me looking great makes me feel confident which translates into appeal). Then, I would have a drink or two to relax myself and calm my nerves. But just don't drink too much (LOL).

The stranger thing is that MM knows my husband, and he is sort of intrigued when the three of us are together. MM is always asking me how I felt, when the three of us see each other or casually talk together. I don't feel very comfortable at all when the three of us are together because I don't want to hurt MM's feelings by ignoring him, but I don't want to talk to MM and sort of feel that I am rubbing my husband's nose in it either. Yikes. As someone else said, "delicate dance."

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 4:54pm
I don't know if I could meet MM wife. Best of Luck, I know it can't be easy

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