Memoirs of the other woman

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Memoirs of the other woman
Wed, 09-05-2012 - 10:17pm

OK. I am assuming that others have read this book too. Its given me insight but confusion too. On Friday I had a full day with my AP...wonderfu!!!l....and I broke it off later that night. It was too hard for me watching him leave after an intimate day to take his wife  out to dinner. Its breaking my heart if it hasn't already.


I love him. Ive been reading “dating a married man…memoirs of the other woman” for some guidance, condolence, advice. I find it hits home on some points but way off in my situation in other aspects. i wonder what others think?

First: I don’t understand how “recognizing your worth”,  “feeding his ego” and “recoginzing his value” is so different. Do you?

5.  I never felt like he was making me responsible for the affair..have you?

3. I don’t understand the “life raft”

4. I0 don’t agree that I am in this for safety and security...I have that already6isn’t it possible just to have fallen in love with someone you should’t have?

5. i don’t agree that being with him isn’t making him more comforatble in his marriage…i think it does and stops him from changing

6. I don’t understand the “higher power” part




I do relate to


1.0   the special friendship

2.0   I do believe he is comfortable in his current situation

3.0   I think he did stop growing a long time ago and became complacent

4.0   I do believe he lies to keep me happy

5.0   That I'm only  10% of his life and that he will only be 10% devastated

The areas that hit home (and hurts the most):

1.0   The energy I am expending on thinking about the relationship he is expending on working, planning vacations, and generally trying to improve his marrigae (pangs in the heart here)

2.0   That I  possess alot of those qualities that make the dating pool unacceptable…so true

I’m wondering what others thoughts are? I know no A is the same and trying to figure out mine is now a full time job. I am so sad that its over. i have to work with him and its so hard. My heart is broken.


He said he would read “why good people have affairs” As of friday he has not. he just texted me to leave my car door open so he could drop off the book (pang!)



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Re: Memoirs of the other woman
Fri, 09-07-2012 - 12:13am
junerose37 told me a few days ago not to rush things - take things hour by hour and allow myself to feel what I'm feeling. I know it's not the least bit easy, but try to focus on your own grief rather than what he's doing. Are you doing anything nice for yourself? I'm still having trouble concentrating on things I usually would enjoy, but did get a haircut and pedicure. Baby steps.