Merry christmas -how will you cope.....
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Merry christmas -how will you cope.....
| Fri, 12-25-2009 - 12:33am |
Merry christmas to you all and how will you cope if you can't see your affair partner on christmas day. i know it was rough not being able to see ex-mm on christmas day. for s. o. w., i believe in my opinion,that it can be rougher than m.o.w. cause at least m.o.w. have their husbands to be with them on christmas day but single ow will have no other partner to be with them. how do you all cope with this situation? oh this question also goes for mw with single men.
k2002

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I am an ex-ow and trying to make sure that it REMAINS THAT WAY AND I DON'T GET BACK INTO BEING THE OW AGAIN. but sometimes it is not so easy. there is a man who is a friend of mine who is married. we used to attend the same church. we actually like each other but are not involved. in fact, the feelings are strong. he and his wife have nothing going on, but based on things i see happening, it is just appearances. i have been told by friends that things are not so hot, but from what i see publicly, it is all appearances and pretence. he is senior in the church and he told me if it was not for the church, he would have left a long time ago. i am not involved with him, but we have strong feelings for each other. seems like he is not ready to leave as he said he is in limbo.
Too late K2002, you have already entered into the role of an OW with your new "friend". He is sharing very personal details about his M with you, therefore putting you in an EA. You have crossed the line already. You are on a slippery slope. If you really don't want to be another OW tell this senior church member to hire a real counselor and leave his miserable M. Stop being his counselor. It's sad but MM will say how unhappy they are in the M and create a totally different image for an unsuspecting compassionate woman and the next thing you know the compassionate OW becomes stuck in a web of his lies and deceit. Watch out and run for the wind.
"It's sad but MM will say how unhappy they are in the M and create a totally different image for an unsuspecting compassionate woman and the next thing you know the compassionate OW becomes stuck in a web of his lies and deceit. Watch out and run for the wind."
you have a point. My father has a senior position in the church (same denomination as my friend but different locations. so he (my father) knows him well. every year there is a christmas dinner at my friend's house for persons working in the same region. my parents and my family by extension usually get invited. last year christmas, my parents asked if i was going to attend with them and i told them no. i heard he, (my friend) was looking out for me. i did not go as i did not think it would be appropriate. if the wife had moved out, it would be appropriate. but she is still there although they have been in separate rooms almost 5 years now. also, i didn't want him to give me any admiring glances and next thing someone saw. i didn't go this year either. i am now living in a new location for about a year now, so as a result, i am no longer attending that church. i am now in a new denomination. he has since left the church we attend as that was the time he got the promotion in a senior position in the church. i haven't seen him in ages, as i didn't go to the dinner this year. my parents went. so i am slowly getting over him. i am the type of woman who is into long term relationships and since i see he isn't ready to leave, i keep away. can't bother with the foolishness. i use the experience of my first emr-to STAY AWAY. are you involved in an emr?
Thankfully, those days are past, but man I hated them. There actually were only two years we didn't see each other on Christmas. For three years, we worked together in jobs in an industry for which holidays mean nothing....people still work. So, after work, he'd come to my place and we'd exchange gifts and have some elfish nooky, lol, before he had to go home and before my kids came up (they spend X-mas eve with their dad).
Then came the two years without him when we weren't working together. OMGosh, my heart broke both those years. He always managed to see me a couple of times in each December and January those years, but it wasn't enough for me. He called both Christmases, but that wasn't enough. It was awful. Those years are a blank for me. I went through those holidays in a fog, I think, because I honestly *don't* remember them. Other than to remember that my heart felt like someone had stabbed a knife through it.
Who. Me? Overdramatic much? Naw.......
:-D
Lucky
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